Eden's Prophesy
by dreame273
Summary: Ever since Griffith disappeared Caroline's life has been complicated to say the least, but with a dark past, and a prophesy on the horizon, Caroline sets out on her own, to find out the truth about her twin's disappearance and her own identity and purpose. And along the way, she always seems to get thrown with the Winchester brothers, who really are not her favorite boys. (Dean/OC)
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

Hell, things in my life had never been simple, or calm, and definitely never near damn quiet. Not since Griffith had run off, or disappeared, or was kidnapped, or whatever in the hell caused him to be ripped from my world and in the process shatter my family to bits. Well maybe that's a lie too, things were never picture perfect or calm, they just weren't broken I guess, once Griffith was gone it all went to hell. Dear old dad hit the bottle hard, mom picked up and left not a year later, off on a mission from God to find her baby boy, and hell I don't blame her, but me I was left here in the middle of Manhattan with my baby sister in tow just her and I, well and Dad, but he was a damn sad shell of what he use to be, really not much of a presence if you ask me. And every week, Sunday to be exact at six o'clock pm on the dot, the phone would ring and the sound of my mothers haggard hopeful voice would fill my ears, telling me she had a whiff of some lead, some clue, and that soon enough she would come on home with Griffith in tow. My heart every Sunday for the past seven years broke for her, my family, and myself, knowing that Griffith my twin, my other half, my best friend, was most likely dead and I was not even allowed to find closure by seeking him out with mom because I had other responsibilities, ones to my lifeless father and frightened teenage sister Meredith, just shy of seventeen.

All I really wanted was to bring mom home, cause God knows that Meredith needed her mother more than me, and I wanted to hit the road myself and find my twin, hell he was my mother's son, but he was my twin, this was more my fight than hers, but she refused to let me seek out the things that went bump in the night, the stuff of bedtime stories and legends, the things she believed to be behind Griffith's disappearance. And as much as I wanted to believe she was crazy, that there was nothing in the dark, but old wives tales and legends, I knew the truth, because the night Griffith disappeared I saw the truth in the eyes of who I believed to be my twins fiancé, Faith, hell Faith wasn't Faith though or maybe she never was Faith at all. She was some sort of twisted soul, my mom deemed her a demon, but I couldn't know for sure. The night of Griffith's disappearance she spoke of a prophesy of two twins who at the youthful yet jaded age of thirty would lead a revolution or rebellion to what god only knows, but the power I witnessed her display, it just wasn't human and Griffith and her gone without a trace also strangely unnerving. Maybe that's why my kindhearted father lost himself in the bottle because that night he lost not only his son, but his logic, and his understanding of the world as he thought he knew it.

Thank god Meredith wasn't there to witness the unexplainable events, yet I know that our family carries some mark, and even if we try to escape it or shield each other from it, it will hunt us down find us and take us for what it wants, so hell if its coming for me, why not make it easy on it and I'll come for it instead, turn the tables a bit, beat it at its own game, let the hunter become the hunted and give them the dark hell raging in me from the loss of my twin and something deeper more intrinsic, some dark mark someone brazened on me before birth, before life. All I know is as my twenty-seventh birthday nears, I know they will be back for me, I mean that's their damn stupid prophesy isn't, but hell I am not going down without a fight and just maybe I'll find them first.

**Chapter 1- Phone Call From a Chevy **

"Meredith, wake up, come on you are going to be late, it's already seven-thirty lets go!" I shook Meredith's shoulder hard and she groaned rolling to her side and glaring at me through sleep drugged eyes, her fire red curls sprawled out across the pillow drenched in drool, ugh, seriously not only did she snore, but she drooled too, she always had, for as long as I could remember, yet it still grossed me out.

"Seriously Mare, lets go, I don't have the time or energy for this, Jesus! Your breakfast is on the table just throw some clothes on and lets get out of here." I lectured sternly losing my patience with her by the second. Mare may be scared and scarred, but that was under a thick layer of a rebellious and surly seventeen year old with an obnoxious, cocky, punk rock boyfriend who drove a red Trans-Am and needed an ass whooping like no other.

"Whatever Caroline, Connor won't be here for another thirty minutes, you know that."

"Hell you are not driving to school with that delinquent, you'll be late for the near millionth time, I'm driving your sorry-arse now lets go, up and at 'em princess." I could tell by the heavy silence she was about to throw a fit, that she was about to go Dark Vader on my ass, but then saved by the glorious bell of technology, my phone rang, displaying a name, that was rare, and I only knew from the other side of the telephone, the Winchester brothers, how delightful, I seriously hope its that Seth, Sean, whatever his name is one because the other one is a pain in the ass, and a half, and sometimes I'd love to kick his cocky rump to kingdom come and back. I look at Meredith and she sees it in my eyes that the phone call is larger than her teenage angst, and for once climbs out of bed and takes my orders, as I answer the call from the brothers who always seem to have death at their heels.

"Yeah." I answered clipped.

"Caroline, hey how have you been?" It's the sean/seth one I can tell by his soft calm voice and his inquiry about my well-being. The other genius just would have laid into why he was actually calling no cordial formalities, which I have to say I kind of appreciate.

"No offense, I appreciate the concern an' all, but I'm not running a small talk hotline here, I've got other arrangements to handle, so if you could just cut to the chase, this'd be easier on us all." I heard a low rumble of laughter crackling in the background immediately recognizing it as the other dimwit; there was a mutter from him and a sigh from Seth or whatever, and then a clearing of a throat.

"Your mom asked us to call wanted us to check up on you, give you some news, she actually is out of the country and wanted us to warn you if you tried to reach her, she also had some orders for you." Out of the country, what in gods name, that's it, I'm going, I'm done with this, I'm finding Griffith or what happened to him myself. He was my twin, this was my prophecy shit, I'm done playing around. Forget these geniuses, I'm out. I did not even give them time to interpret my silence; I quickly hung up the phone and swung my eyes toward my baby sister.

"Mare" my voice shook a bit as I watched her normally hateful emerald eyes go wide and young, "I know we don't always see eye to eye, I know you need mom, that you want mom and not me, and look I'm going to try and give you just that. Hell, I want mom back here, and I want to find Griffith myself. I know you blame me for what happened to this family partially, and hell I blame myself too they should have took me too! I don't know why I was left behind, and I was the one who should have searched for Griffith not mom, mom should have raised you, not me, but look I'm going to make things right. I'm going to find Griffith myself, you don't have to like me, but you have to, for this family, take care of dad and yourself, keep safe and stay out of trouble and off the radar, while I'm gone. Can we just agree to disagree and fight on the same side for this one round, please Mare." I was pleading with her, to let me go and to follow my orders without me demanding it of her with my presence and incessant nagging. Her white v-neck hung off her shoulder and swam around her small frame as she slouched into a confused slump, but after a few moments she straightened and looked me square in the eye and she simply stated,

"Ok, go." And that was it, all the fuel I needed to take of running to pack everything I had, to rip through mom's research and go after Griffith myself, I switched off my cell phone, kissed my fathers forehead as he lay asleep in a drunk stupor on the couch, and finally walked out the door without a backward glance, making my own decision for the first time in years. I'd leave all the money in a back account Mare could access and well I was going to have to rough it with a few credit cards and debit account that did not have much in it, but I would rather all the years of being a big old attorney take care of Mare at this moment an not me, my boss would definitely be calling at some point, but that's what blocking numbers was for.

Elton John blared through my stereo as my white soccer mom SUV cruised down the highway out of the city and away from the skyscrapers and bright lights. Some part of me would always remain in Manhattan, maybe it was an etching of my being, a sliver of my essence who actually knows what, but some piece of me would forever live in that apartment in Chinatown where I had grown up and shared a life and memories with my family in. I sighed running my hand through my blondish brown waves glancing down at the black screen on my I-phone, debating whether to turn it back on. Seth and what's his face had probably already called me back a million times by now and were probably in a tizzy due to the fact that they were sent to voicemail every time. These two geniuses who my mother had met several times on her hunt for my brother, had a reputation of being among the greats in regards to the hunting the monsters under your bed business, but eh I cannot imagine there were too many people in that business, so not much competition, therefore I was not impressed. Hell, my mother sure was though, impressed enough that she made the numskulls call me every month to check up or whatever and to deliver news to me that she could not due to another hair brain scheme or some other ridiculously hatched plan like this one where she leaves the country on a wing and prayer without an ounce of warning.

I was headed to Chicago the last place my brother was seen by a security camera in a gas station just outside of the city. Yeah, I'm sure my mother had already thoroughly searched this place, but sometimes I felt she was just too emotional, too wrecked by loss and I well, I was more rational, more thorough, more able to throw my emotions into a box, and hide them away and just focus on the task at hand, so maybe I would find something she had not. Somehow like always as one of my hands gripped the steering wheel my other found its way into the pocket of my brown leather jacket and my fingers wrapped under a cool, soft metal…Griffith's dog tag, one of them at least. I gripped it tightly running my thumb over the cool metal again and again maybe just hoping to hold onto some part of him, or perhaps just searching for comfort, whatever purpose it served for me however was long forgotten, because now it was just habitual, a common act I barely even noticed or registered on anymore.

At about 4 am I knew I needed to stop, I could barely keep my eyelids cracked, my body was growing slack, and honestly I felt like I could eat about 4 double cheeseburgers and a side of fries. I was somewhere in Ohio, honestly don't ask me where, cause I couldn't be bothered to investigate that, instead I just pulled off the nearest exit directing me to a place to sleep and more importantly a place to stuff my face. The motel I pulled into may have been dilapidated, just a bit gross looking, and old as sin, but hey there was a twenty-four hour dinner next door and the promise of food and a hot shower outweighed the nasty and most likely unhygienic conditions. I ordered a black coffee like always a stack of chocolate chip pancakes, and a side of bacon, thank god I had a fast metabolism and was a decent height because otherwise I would definitely be a fat lard due to the shit that I put into my body. When I finally made my way into the vomit green hotel room, I quickly showered, washing away everything, not just the sticky sweat from the day past. I washed away my sister's fearful yet hateful eyes, along with Seth's mock and fake concern, my mother's poor decisions, the loss of Griffith, always the loss of Griffith, my forever mark, and the eyes of Tristan, young, quiet, serene Tristan, who I never wished to speak of, but never wanted to forget. And by the end of my ritual washing of my sins, of life's tragedies, of all that I had known, sleep found me fast and the musty smell of the sheets did not plague me not even for a second, well at least not until I cracked my eyes open the next morning.

Uh, I had been driving around the outskirts of Chicago for the past hour and a half still without locating the gas station. The map was sprawled out on the dash, coffee lay spilt on the floor of the passenger side, and I could be found cursing the map gods and desperately asking anyone I saw walking for directions, yet none of these lovely people were of any damn help and this map, this stupid map was freaking useless! Honestly at this point if some Genie found me and took some pity on me with a wish I would ask for Dora the explorer's map, that thing made everything so obvious and all places were never more than 5 steps away, but sadly bad luck followed me like an omen and any good luck of that kind would never stumble across the likes of me, well if we were talking about fictional genies that is, the real ones, kind of sucked.

Finally, another half an hour later I pulled into the gas station thanks to the directions from some old lady sitting on her porch who had watched me drive past her house about seven times. Through her fits of laughter at my dismal situation she took pity on me, and pointed me in the correct direction. There was truly nothing unique about this gas station, it was average sized about 6 pumps, and had a decent sized convenience store behind the pumps, which is where I would place my focus, but I knew it was important to observe and get a feel for my surroundings first and try to picture Griffith here and how he would have moved about the place. Questioning anybody this far after the event would be pretty useless so I knew this would be a self-reliant investigation and I had to be completely detail observant. Before I could even make it a few steps out of my car a strong calloused hand gripped my tiny wrist, I had an incredibly tiny bone structure making it very easy for anyone to grip and yank me to them, but hey I may have been small and easy to grab when unsuspecting, but once I knew what was happening I could be a tough one and a swift kick to the crotch of this wackado would take care of business real quick and that's just what I did, without even a glance upwards.

"What the hell?" a deep velvety voice rumbled in pain and anger.

"I could be asking you the same thing, bud. You do not just go around manhandling women you don't know, don't make me dig my heel into any other part of you!" I chided as I looked up for the first time and my hazel-gold eyes locked onto a pair of deep sea green ones which were wrinkled in pain, frustration, and hate, a look I was accustomed to.

"Hey, Hey everyone just calm down, there has been a misunderstanding, you are Caroline correct?" another, much softer and calmer voice butted in, a voice I recognized, wait just a god damn minute, this must be those geniuses, the Winchesters, but what the hell where they doing here, this could not be a coincidence…could it? I looked up at the brown-eyed boy with longer slightly unkempt yet thick wavy brown hair.

"I don't see how who I am, is any of your business, and no I've never heard of that person." My guard was still up, this probably was the geniuses, but if not, I could not risk revealing any information about myself.

"How about this then, I'm Sam Winchester, and this is my brother Dean, I apologize for his arrogance it's unfortunately a part of the package." I finally took a good look at both the boys, the one identified with the longer hair and brown eyes before, was much, much taller he had to be at least 6'3 and he was lankier then the other guy but still incredibly built with defined arms and broad shoulders, he flashed me a genuine grin that was a bit calming, and overall his worn flannel shirt and beat up jeans just added to his feel of being a nice normal guy, but the other brother, the Dean kid was a different story entirely. He had bad boy written all over him, from the long leather jack with the collar popped that he wore over a forest green button down along with dark wash jeans to his worn leather boots. His hair was thick and light brown, that looked more dirty blonde at times, that was cut short and somewhat spiked in the front. His hands were large and he was tall too but not quite as tall as the other boy. His smile was all charm and wit, but I could tell it was forced completely at the moment and a grimace would fit the rest of his expression much better. His eyes though, I have to say, for a pain in the ass were beautiful. They were framed by thick dark lashes and hooded by large heavy eyelids, if only they were on a better guy, how sad, what a waste of beautiful eyes, the jerks always get the unique physical attributes.

"Yeah sorry I do not and have never known anyone by your names". I went to spin on my heel and continue on my way, but was stopped by the forceful grip that still clung to me, "Yo, dude, seriously let go I've got things to attend to." He licked his lips and strung his mouth into a cocky grin as he pulled a worn folded photograph from his jean pocket opening it up and, practically shoving it in my face.

"So your saying this isn't you and your mother?" quipped his deep gravely voice, well there was no denying it now, there I was in the photo my arms around my mother tightly, it was before, before Griffith went missing, making it really quite old, but my hazel gold eyes were unmistakable along with the smooth slope of my nose, defined cheek bones, deep olive skin tone and heart shaped lips, shit, the only thing that was different was my hair which was its natural chestnut brown color in the photograph and a bit shorter, I cut it during my undergraduate years now it was practically down to my butt. I sighed as his grip finally loosened knowing he had won, for now at least, and I placed my hands on my hips.

"Look you boys may have business with my momma, but you do not with me, you see me, I'm here alive, and even in one piece! So, your little check up should be sufficient, and you can be on your way and I can be on my, now if you excuse me" I stated getting ready to walk off finally, but of course I was interrupted by mister bad to the bone.

"Lady, look you are not going anywhere, we are nowhere near finished here, and I hope to god a rookie like you isn't trying to begin a hunt, because then we will have a dead girl on our hands pretty soon, your mom will blame us, and then you become our business and our damn problem sweetheart." That little shit, how dare him call me a rookie, he doesn't even know the first thing about me, I was no damn rookie. I had been shooting guns since I was thirteen my father taught me long before my mother's hunting began and after that I learned to perfect it, I was always a good shot though. I also could outrun a god damn lot of things I had been a soccer player and a track runner, and I was damn fast if I'd like to give myself some props, and on top of that I had been studying the things that go bump in the night for seven years now, learning everything I could, getting my hands on every piece of research or information I could dig up, speaking to any hunter that rode into town and stopped by the local dive, which was more a hunters bar than anything, I was a waitress at on nights. And to round it all off, my brother, before his disappearance insisted on training me the way he was trained, in self defense and a myriad of other combat skills, something about protecting myself in a screwed up world, at the time I did it as a joke and did not take it too seriously, but I had picked up a lot and when my brother went missing I started training with one of his army buddies regularly to master the skills. So hell, I was no rookie, maybe I wasn't a seasoned field agent in this shit, but I sure as hell had the skills and nerves for this job, so screw him, wait till I give him a piece of my god damn mind, the moron. The goody two shoes must have sensed my anger and nearing outburst, because suddenly he softly put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a dopey soulful look, which I'm sure worked on a lot of idiots, but honestly I wasn't having it, but Mr. sensitive spoke before I could.

"Look Caroline, Dean means well he's just abrasive, very blunt, we just want to make sure you are safe and are able to handle things on your own, we do not doubt you are equipped, but when emotions are involved, which I'm assuming are present due to that I know you aren't just hunting, you are looking into your brothers disappearance, people can slip up, act irrationally, make a mistake, god knows we have." I glared at him, he was comparing me to my mother in his head, probably seen her do that a million times, yeah she was like that, but not me, that's why I was the one who should have been investigating Griffith's disappearance the whole time, not her.

"I know what you're thinking, because I know my mother better than the both of you, but I'm not her. I should have been looking for Griffith from the start she isn't suited for this, but me I am, you don't know me or anything about me so please don't act like you do. Trust me, I have the restraint of my emotions and rule of logic my mother does not and I do not need Bonnie and Clyde supervising my hunt." I bit out, my eyes burning into his, and my lips in a tight line. Dean threw his hands up and scowled.

"That's it Sam I'm not dealing with a tyrannical little sass, let her go, seesh, for a little thing, sure has a damn lot of freaking attitude!" Sam glared at him, as I fumed and glared back at Dean mostly.

"Look I apologize for Dean and promise that we truly did not mean to offend you, all we ask is you give us a call here and there and at least agree to see us in a few days tells us what you found, possibly brainstorm, we can help." He tried, smiling at me sadly, god no, these guys need to go.

"Look that's sweet and all Mr. chivalry, but I prefer to work alone, I will agree to give you a call when I see fit, if you agree to the condition of getting out of my face." Dean smirked and Sam who I had thought was Seth, just smiled sadly once more and nodded.

"Ok, we can't force you to do anything, but if you need us you have the number and well just be working a case a town over, we think its vengeful spirit, sounds pretty standard, should be quick." I nodded and handed Sam the photo back and turned on my heel calling over my shoulder.

"See you around, but hopefully not anytime soon kids". And the last of the Winchesters for now was the sound of Deans deep rumbly chuckle and Sam's amused sigh.

God damnit, this day had been a complete bust. First I got held up by Van Helsing and buffy the vampire slayer, then I spent hours combing the inside and outside of the gas station trying not to be to obvious, thankfully the owner was reading what I assumed to be a porno, lovely, and found nothing, and now to top it off my engine appeared to be dead. I had hid my car a few miles away from the gas station, to keep my cover, and I really did not think I would be able to push it all the way there alone, I needed a hand unfortunately for me. Seriously, the universe definitely was laughing at me right now. I really could not afford a tow truck, I needed someone who could fix my car for free, but that was some pretty wishful thinking, this was just unbelievable! Maybe I could just sleep in my car, regain my strength and try to push it to the gas station in the morning it was worth a shot, and honestly I was pretty exhausted, and it was close to midnight anyways. Carefully I climbed into the backseat, manually locked all the doors, and bawled up my sweatshirt, as a pillow and hoped sleep would find me fast.

I jumped up and banged my head on the roof, shit, where the hell was I, at the sound of a strange banging, oh shit that's right my engine, and I slept in the car, and what the hell, there was that Dean kid looking into the window and knocking relentlessly this cant be serious, honestly my life sucked. The sky was still dark and there weren't many stars so I was assuming it was early morning close to dawn, I pushed open the door not caring if I hit him with it, obnoxious moron.

"Woah watch it!" He exclaimed hopping backward and out of the way, as I swung the door the rest of the way open and ran my fingers through my sleep tangled hair.

"Watch it yourself, cant you see I was sleeping, do you mind!" I exclaimed back.

"In your car? How stupid are you?" He bantered back roughly.

"My engine died I was just resting up before pushing it to the gas station genius, I wasn't just sleeping here for the fun of it."

"You, by yourself were going to push it 2 miles to the gas station, a bigass SUV like this?"

"Yes, I don't see the confusion here."

"Seriously why didn't you call us that's just stupid."

"Why would I call you, I have it covered, I told you I work alone."

"You are impossible, a real genius, look Sam's already back at the hotel I was just getting some food, come back with me and well take care of your car in the morning."

"No way!" I exclaimed backing myself up into the car as some sort of protection from what, I don't know.

"Seriously, don't make me drag your ass out of here, I can fix your car in the morning alright, now lets go, Sam will kill me if I leave you here like this." He ran a hand threw his hair clearly frustrated, his eyes looked worn and tired.

"Dude I'm fine just go, ok." I replied.

"Alright I have no tolerance for this lets go." And without a second passing he had grabbed a hold of my waist dragged me kicking and screaming out my SUV, fished my keys out of my back pocket, locked up my car, and thrown me over his shoulder.

"Cut it out, put me down, I'm not a rag doll you chauvinist pig!" I cried beating his back with my fists.

"Easy there Fido, don't hurt yourself!" He quipped and then chuckled.

"You son of a bitch, put me down now!"

"Ok, then" He plopped me down into the backseat of his Impala and quickly locked the doors and jumped into the drivers side as I desperately tried to escape this bullshit, and of course revved the engine just as I got the door open.

"Look I'm getting you so I don't get a new one ripped out for me by Sam, but so help me god if you damage my baby, I will not be responsible for what happens to you as consequence, now close the damn door and sit tight!" He scolded annunciating his words with determination and anger.

"What the hell, no I'm getting out!"

"No you are not!" He yelled back turning around and pulling my door shut again while hitting the gas and peeling away from my car in seconds, shit, what an asshole I just can't win. I could still get out but that would risk rolling out of a car going about 60 miles per hour and having a least a few miles to walk back to my car, plus the bitch had jacked my keys, I was in tight spot, mind as well just wait till we got to the motel so I could wrestle my keys back and hitchhike home to my car, these freaking jerks kept screwing with my plans, and now I had a migraine joy, maybe if I just closed my eyes for a bit.

"Caroline, Caroline, hey come on wake up." Someone gently shook my shoulder and suddenly my eyes cracked open and my elbow shot instinctively into the intruder's gut.

"Oof, shit." The voice called and as I looked over my shoulder I saw Sam doubled over wincing and Dean mirrored him, yet he was doubled over in laughter not pain, a few steps behind Sam.

"Little Sammy, taken out by a chick once again." Dean called between laughs, oops, well serves him right for sneaking up on me like that, you can't just do that to a person.

"For small girl you pack a punch, can you try to save that for the nonhuman dudes though." Sam chuckled, still clutching his gut and wincing a bit.

"Look I apologize, but you shouldn't just be sneaking up on people like that." I shrugged, I mean he did startle me it was a reaction.

"I wasn't exactly sneaking up on you, but alright why don't we get you to a real bed, you look like you could use some restful sleep, you are falling asleep all over." He replied quickly walking towards Dean who still was laughing until Sam punched his arm hard.

"Woah man just because a girl whooped your ass, yet again, doesn't mean you take it out on me, ease up Sammy."

"Shut up Dean."

"Bitch."

"Jerk" How endearing…weirdos, the two laughed and headed towards their motel door.

"Come on fido lets go". Dean called, asshole.

"Shut up, I'm coming."

"Good, at least you're following commands now." He chided, oh that's it.

"Dean if I were you I'd sleep with one eye open you are really pushing it". I threatened my voice tight and my eyes narrowed.

"Will do princess, you are a scary one for sure." He quipped sarcastically chuckling as he held the door open for me and I rammed my body into his side, yet he didn't even flinch, crap.

"Nice try princess, but it'll take a lot more than that to knock 175 pounds of pure muscle over." He threw me a cocky lazy grin, and I could tell he was hitting on me now, oh great, ass-hat.

"More like a 175 pounds of pure stupid, now just stay out of my way."

"As you wish." He winked at me and wriggled his brows; I threw him a glare and stuck my finger down my throat and fake gagged for emphasis.

"Cut it out Dean, she is definitely not in the mood!" called Sam from the bathroom I supposed, as I curled up onto the armchair in the corner of the room figuring that would be my place to sleep as the room only held two twin beds. Honestly I was too tired to try and sneak my keys back and walk back to my car, so I would just catch some shuteye and slip out in the morning it would be easy.

"Why are you looking like you are ready to fall asleep on that armchair?" Sam inquired looking down at me in a pair of boxers and a v-neck. I have to say the kid was well cut and cute in a boyish way, but he wasn't my type.

"Uhm, I am planning to get some sleep, didn't you just insist I get some shut eye." What was he stupid or something?

"Not there you aren't, take my bed, I'll take the couch." Wait no, no, no I may have attitude, but my parents did raise me with manners and respect and this was their room that they were paying for it, they get the beds.

"No way, I'm fine here you guys get the beds, this is your room, I may be unlucky, but I am no mooch. This is just fine, throw me a sheet and I'll be set." I said easing up on them for the first time since we met.

"Woah, Fido being polite, is that even possible." Dean chided sarcastically, and I glared at him.

"Just because I don't want to be bothered, and enjoy my space, doesn't mean I'm an ill cultured free loader, ok."

"Well you have been pretty damn rude, princess". He quipped back.

"You guys were in my business ok, I'm private and I don't really feel the need for friendships and whatnot I'm doing a job, I don't need interferences".

"Guys, stop! That isn't the issue, Caroline take the bed, we were raised well too and a lady and a guest always is accommodated, now take my bed please." Sam cut in, mediating once again.

"Look Sam I'm too tired to argue over this, but I am not taking your bed, thanks for the unnecessary recuse, goodnight." I pulled a sheet from the desk next to me, curled into a ball, turned my back towards them, and shut my eyes tightly.

"She truly is stubborn as shit, her mom was not exaggerating." Dean muttered.

"I heard that!" I exclaimed he grunted, Sam chuckled and then I heard rustling and sounds of them climbing into their beds, and the light was shut. Clearly everyone was too tired for this fight and that included me and soon with the surprisingly comforting sounds of the two boys breathing I found sleep.

Sunlight was heating up my face and cluing my body into that it was time to get up, I threw my arm out expecting it to hit the arm of the sofa, but instead I felt something soft, a mattress, what the hell, then it dawned on me, freaking Sam, he better not have moved me. When I cracked my eyes open though I saw Sam fast asleep in the bed next to me and it was Dean spread eagle on the couch, with half his body about to tumble off, and for the first time I couldn't help, but smile at the guy, that sofa was too small for him and he just looked hilarious. All of sudden one of his green eyes cracked open and it went directly to me. He grunted and I watched him lazily get up. He was wearing a pair of sweats, which were loosely hanging on his hips and a dark grey t-shirt; he had some serious bedhead too. He shuffled towards me his eyes half open and then nudged me over the bed a bit with his hand.

"What the hell!" I whisper-screamed not wanting to wake Sam.

"I slept on that small uncomfortable couch for most of the night, now we are sharing, move over." He grunted his voice was more gravely than ever and ridden with sleep.

"What the hell no way! I'm moving. " I whispered nervously as I attempted to squirm away, but his arm caught me.

"No, Sam will have a fit if he sees you on the couch and me in the bed, now just stay right here, shut up, and go back to sleep, I'm not letting go until I'm sure you wont squirm away, I will not wake up to Sammy yelling at me." He grunted frustrated and tightened his arm around me as he lay on his stomach with his face half buried in the pillow, well this sucks. I sighed frustrated and crossed my arms over my chest and tried to close my eyes, well if I was stuck here I mind as well sleep stuck here, what an ass-wipe. I heard him chuckle sleepily and as I drifted back off I faintly remember the smell of pine and firewood.

The second time I awoke, it was to the sound of hushed voices and I couldn't help, but fake sleep and listen in. I needed to be one step ahead of these guys, to get out of here free of their company.

"We can't just let her go off on her own Dean." Sam appeared to nag.

"Seriously Sam, I'm not going to play babysitter. We have jobs to do, we don't need to be slowed down by some hotheaded inexperienced chick alright." Clearly, still an ass-hat.

"But the prophesy Dean, and her mom, this stuff is important to us too." My ears rose at the word prophesy, maybe they knew something I didn't.

"What about the prophesy Sam? We still only know what her mom relayed to us, and Cas is still out trying to scrounge up info on it and he's still heard nothing on the angel airwaves." Dean complained.

"Dean we cannot let her do this on her own, and I have this feeling Dean this weird feeling that, the prophesy is going to be trouble, this girl needs us, we are suppose to help people."

"You and your damn gut feelings Sam, stupid psychic shit, look I already put a GPS chip on her car, and she doesn't know about it, so we can always locate her, we don't need to watch her constantly." Hah, what a moron, now I knew about it and it would be the first thing to go, and even if I hadn't overheard him I would have inspected my car top to bottom expecting some shit like that, he called me the rookie, yeah ok, total amateur move on his part.

"Dean I'm serious, this prophesy, you saw the look on Cas's face something is up, and he knows more than he is telling, this prophesy is larger than her and her attitude ok. We can't just let her run off."

"Honestly Sam, I don't think we have much of a choice, that chick will go if she wants, I think she has made that clear." Well at least someone got the message.

"Yeah well, we just need to convince her to stay, and you hitting on her isn't helping so cut it the hell out! What were you doing in the bed this morning not ok Dean." Sam scolded, and I could feel my face turn hot and red even though nothing had happened and I had encouraged nothing.

"Dude that couch was way too small and super uncomfortable. If I'm going to hunt I need to get some restful sleep ok, plus chick was tossing and turning all night, nightmares I suppose, it was keeping me awake, she's freaking loud. So sometimes if another person is in the bed, it stops nightmares, it's a comfort thing, so once I was in there she stopped and we all finally got some good sleep, everyone wins." He relayed quite calmly and simply. Shit, I knew I was prone to nightmares, but I had them so often now, I forgot them most of the time…and I guess he was right in a way, I did feel better rested than I had in weeks.

"Well at least keep your distance then, you did not need to have her all snuggled into you like that, looked like you were enjoying it a bit to much, with your head buried in her hair and your arms latched around her, it was like little baby Dean." Sam teased, chuckling.

"Shut the hell up, I did that in my sleep it was an accident, I would have done it to any soft nice smelling girl alright, give it up."

"Sure Dean Sure. Anyhow, I'm telling you she is important and I don't' need you chasing her into hiding, she isn't interested in your moves alright." Sam teased again, great what the hell, I'm so glad I did not wake up to that, that would have been really awkward to say the least. And important, what did he mean by that, yeah there was a prophesy that involved me, but I just was a piece to a much larger puzzle, just a gear in a machine, I served some larger purpose that was all, I wasn't important or integral…was I?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2- The Trouble with Escape Plans**

I leaned my hip against the Impala agitatedly, which was currently parked on the side of the road next to my SUV and mr. leather jacket, who was halfway underneath my car making a whole damn lot of ruckus along with slipping out a string of curses here and there.

"Yo bad attitude, you ever hear of a tune up, this car is in damn desperate need of one, you do not treat a vehicle this way seesh you see the way I treat my baby, you ought to do the same." Chided, the asswipe, always with the smart mouth, well I could do better.

"Sorry perv, but most normal people are not in romantic relationships with their cars and don't get freaky with the exhaust pipe on a regular basis like you, and my damn car is just fine pretty sure it appreciates me not attempting to damn molest it, while yours provably feels cheap and violated." I threw back, chuckling a bit at the end with my grin remaining in placing, proud of my own work with English language.

"You are a hell of a piece of work you know that sweetheart". He bit back sarcastically.

"So I've been told."

"A damn handful in a half, feel bad for the poor bastard who falls for ya". He muttered.

"You do know I am still here, and listening tough guy".

"Yeah, yeah don't get your knickers in a twist ain't my fault you're like a viper."

"Only to you, only to you."

"I'm flattered sweet cheeks."

"It sure as hell was not a compliment buddy."

"Oh I know princess, I know." Uh bantering with this genius just it was infuriating. It made my skin tingle and prick and just everything shake a bit, even if I was done and didn't care about the point anymore I had to keep talking, keep debating for the rush, for the thrill it gave me, weird feeling, maybe it was the law student in me, maybe it was the anger he drew out of me. I don't really know, but I definitely had a hard time ending a sarcasm match with this dope.

"just so you know princess, this is going to take a while, so you standing there ain't speeding it up, and I need to work a case, which no offense takes precedent from fixing a chick with an attitude problem's car. So you are definitely stuck with us for at least another night and the car is fine to drive back to the motel, but that's it, or you will blow the engine, so you better listen to me." This cannot be happening, why cant he just fix my car now so I can be on my way, I would even pay him….oh wait, yeah that's right, with what money, I was pretty stone broke at the moment. I sighed angrily, and ran a hand throw my wind matted waves, while biting my bottom lip in concentration. I guess I could let them fix the car and work their case while I dug up so more research on Griffith, I could just chill in the hotel, they wouldn't be around much, that could work for a bit.

"Caroline, hello, anyone home in there!" Dean tried snapping his fingers in my face as he stood up, having rolled out from under the car a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here cool it ace." He chuckled and then gave me a halfhearted shrug.

"Look I ain't happy about babysitting, but seriously your car needs some time and I gotta finish up this case, so lets go, here are your keys, don't do anything stupid, I've had a long day and it's not even 5'oclock yet."

"Whatever, I don't need a babysitter, and I don't know who would trust you with children, what a joke, I'll meet you back at the motel." He rolled his eyes and nudged me towards my car dominantly, and then jumped into his Impala grumbling under his breath, once again. And he calls me bad attitude, all he does is sulk around, grumble, swear and drink from the empty bottles I observed scattered around their motel room, he needs to reassess his own life, and stop judging mine. Climbing into my SUV I decided to make a run to the nearest pharmacy pick up few things like shampoo, toothpaste, just the basics and maybe I'll grab some easy to eat snacks as well, power bars and stuff so I can stop less on the road.

As I pulled into the motel parking lot a few hours later, I ran a few more errands then expected and then had just hung in a parking lot for a bit wanting to be alone to collect my thoughts, and focus myself on where to continue my search for Griffith, Dean was outside with a cellphone to his ear pacing with a furious look on his face, along with Sam leaning over the Impala looking at the ground with concern on his features. They both jumped at the sight of my car and Dean snapped his phone shut and strung out a long list of choice words I could only imagine, what was the damn problem now. I stepped out of the car to Dean grasping my shoulders tightly, not this shit again, we talked about man handling already.

"Where the hell have you been? Your damn mother called us thinking we had things with you under control, and for the past 4 hours we could not place your whereabouts, and now she's going apeshit on us." Wait what the hell how did my mother even know I was hunting and why was she calling them instead of me, what the actual shit is going on? Then suddenly, Dean roughly pushed past me and looked under my hood, he ain't gunna find that stupid tracking device cause I chucked it into the woods after he left me by my car earlier, hah what a dumbo.

"Son of a bitch! How did you even know it was there and what in the hell did you do with it, I don't have time for this shit, in about 5 minutes I'm sending your ass to Krissy's on lockdown, and you two can duke it out." Oh hell no he is not telling me what to do, or sending me anywhere, I have a hunt to get back to, and Krissy, who the hell is Krissy."

"You seriously think I'm that naïve and wouldn't check my car over, I do not trust you, get it yet buddy, and why my momma does is beyond me! How you morons have not gotten yourselves killed yet is a miracle within itself, and how the hell does my momma know I'm out hunting?" My voice grew hard and hostile as I clenched my fists together, ready to flee, to fight my way the hell out of this screwed up situation.

"Your sister Meredith, she spoke to your mom pretty soon after you left, and then your mom called us, and well, called in a favor, she asked us to find you and keep watch over you cause she knew you would not back down from searching for Griffith." Sam cut in, stepping between Dean, and I, who was breathing hard and leering at me nastily. Seriously, of course she did Mare could never leave anything alone, it did not matter what I did for her or tried to do, she would always throw me under the bus, without Griffith, we just, we were constantly at each other's throats, there was no mediator, I tried so hard with her, but she blamed me for everything.

"Classic Meredith, well I would appreciate the full truth now, what do you know about my mother's trip out of the country?" I bit out, if they were instructed to keep watch over me, my mother must truly trust them and have told them something, Ghostbusters knew something I didn't.

"The prophesy Caroline, she thinks she has a lead on it, not Griffith, that's why she left. She didn't tell us where she was going though, she just said, she had to leave without a trace so she'd have the upper hand…whatever that means". Sam said softly placing his large warm hand on my bony shoulder lightly, but I could feel my blood boil, she wasn't even focusing on Griffith, I could give a shit about the prophesy it could wait till we found Griffith, she was wasting precious time, unbelievable!

"So she's not even looking for Griffith, she lied to me, there's no lead on Griffith, just a lead on that stupid mumbo jumbo Faith spewed out. This is just great, freaking typical, I don't give a damn about this prophesy who even knows if its true, honestly who gives a shit, I don't want to hunt, I don't want to be a hunter, but I will to be, but only to find Griffith not for some stupid prophesy some creature barked out at me." I was seething at this point hurling my words with malice and frustration and I knew there was a hint of heartbreak in them as well, but hopefully neither would notice as I roughly shook Sam's hand of trying to close myself off, throw a tough façade out cause I had too. I turned on my heel, pissed, anger replacing sadness quickly like always, as I started to stalk off though the rough calloused hand, I had become accustom to assaulting me lately, grabbed my wrist.

"Hell no sweet-cheeks, you ain't going anywhere, you've got an engine ready to blow, a pissed off momma, and a demon bounty on your head as of yesterday morning." Demon bounty, what the hell, how is that even possible, demon bounty's were not common, nor did they just go after anyone, this prophesy could not be that important…could it?

"What? Why would there be a bounty out on me?"

"We don't know yet, but we are going to find out, that prophesy isn't a bunch of mumbo jumbo sugar, you better get use to being the main event of some sort of hay day, coming to a theatre towards you damn soon. When the hell is your thirtieth birthday anyhow, Lorelai, I mean your mom, left that pretty important piece of information out." Dean inquired hardly staring me down, uh, I did not need to take this shit from him, not when I had problems like these, all I wanted to do was find Griffith, I had been waiting for him to come home for almost seven years now…I just wanted a damn break.

"It's in about seven months…I was born October 29th and obviously so was Griffith, he's seven minutes older than me." I replied my attitude fading for a moment replaced by pure nostalgia and grief, a grief I could never heal nor fill.

"Jesus, well that's just great, that's pretty damn soon, didn't you think you should warn someone, that may have been just a somewhat of a bright idea!" Dean cried exasperatedly looking at me shocked and annoyed, while ramming a hand through his hair.

"I just told you I could give a crap about the prophesy, Griffith is my concern, not that bullshit, its probably made up."

"Sweetheart there's a damn bounty on your meat suit, I think you should start listening to the friggin prophesy, Christ!" Dean chided with his voice raised.

"You have no idea what it's like to have something like this thrust upon you, I didn't ask for this, I didn't want this, in fact I want no part in it I'd be happy to go on with my whole life never knowing about this hunting crap, I just want my brother back." My voice rising with every word, and Dean's eyes began to burn with an anger and sadness I never had seen before and he laughed hardly.

"You have no idea who we are and what we have been through, don't talk to me about having things thrust upon you that you never wanted or asked for, Sam and I, all we ever wanted was normal, an apple pie life, you don't know us at all, so don't tell me about not understanding because trust me I do." He bit out with complete and utter hatred stepping closer to me and leering down at me until Sam cut between us.

'Guys, stop, just stop already would you! This isn't helping anything! Caroline look I'm sorry but you are not going anywhere, not with a bounty on your head, normal is over for you, and honestly you need to grow up and deal with it. You will never be normal, hunting is your destiny and your fate and it will never leave you or forget you, this is your life now, cheap motels, research, crappy food, monsters and the open road there is no other option for you. Now you either embrace it and let us train you and help you find Griffith while we work cases, or we carry you kicking and screaming everywhere we go, you can pick the easy way or the hard way." Sam spit out with hard malice for the first time since I met him, I guess I must hit a chord, but I was emotional what the hell did they expect. Great, this bounty just changed everything, as much as I wanted to tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine I knew I couldn't. I mean I knew a lot and I was trained, but they had been hunting for years…with a bounty this dangerous I probably could use the help…if I was dead no one would ever find Griffith honestly and mom would probably never come home. I just, this was the last thing I wanted, but it seemed to be the only option.

"Fine, I have no other choices anyways it looks like I'll hunt with you, but my focus will be on finding Griffith so just know that." I replied simply crossing my arms protectively over my waist trying to hold myself and keep my anxiety and fear at bay, while rocking back on my heels.

"Good, now lets all go inside." Sam replied curtly.

"I'm going for a drive, don't wait up." Dean bit out anger and hate still lacing his words as he stalked off.

"Look I didn't mean to hit a chord, ok, I'm sorry." I muttered looking at Sam with some form of guilt in my eyes.

"Just forget it, let him be, he wont want the apology anyways, Dean doesn't do fluff, just cooperate a bit, that's enough of an apology."

"Aright I'm going to take a shower if that's fine." I said while shrugging dejectedly.

"Yeah sure go on ahead." Sam slapped an extra motel key in my hand and I stalked off to wash away my impurities, the sins I could never scrub away hard enough for just a few moments.

I leaned my wet pruned body against the warm steamy wall of the shower, and as the water roared above me I finally let myself grieve, no tears slipped down my face though, just silent sobs racked and shook my body as fear and darkness overtook me. I gently slipped to the floor my knees against my chest, and my arms hugged my body like a security belt. And I just shook and rocked until I felt that gaping hole in my chest widen and fill with emotion for the first time in a few days. The hole could only be filled by expressions of grief which were far and few between for me and they never healed it or closed it off, just simply filled it for the moment, but not with joy, just with more pain, more hatred, more death. When the shaking subsidized I stood, ran my face under the water one last time, and turned the water off, not wanting to draw attention to my private emotional wreckage, by taking up too much time in the bathroom. I quickly dressed in a simple v-neck and a pair of navy blue baggy sweat pants, which were worn and faded at the bottoms. I slipped a hairbrush through my matted waves, and finally brushed my teeth quickly. I stepped out of the bathroom to find Sam hunched over his computer and no sign of Dean anywhere in the room.

"It's all yours." I muttered softly, I felt uncomfortable, and guilty, and just out of place in general, causing my attitude to fade somewhat, and my shy and softer nature to be revealed to a degree.

"Thanks." Sam shot back, hopping up and striding into the bathroom quickly. I sighed and twirled a wet lock around my finger, I definitely did not want to be alone with Dean, if he came back while Same is still in there, and I was exhausted, mind as well go to sleep can't hurt. So quietly, I picked up a pillow and sheet and once again made myself a bed on the armchair. I curled up into a ball as always, with my back facing the beds the boys slept in and shut my eyes tight. And just like always, images of a blue van and wide blue eyes filled my brain, the breaking of glass, screams, cries of pain, and guilt, pure utter guilt in the color of red and blue lights. My body from exhaustion did drift off though, but of course to the sounds of screams, and the look of terror from wide blue eyes, just as every other sleep began.

I was jostled awake to the smell of whiskey and the faint underlying scents of pine and firewood. I heard a grumble above me as someone muttered the word stubborn, but it was a bit slurred, and their movements were labored and clumsy. My eyes shot open to see Dean a few feet away stumbling into the bathroom quite loudly, Sam was nowhere to be found though, great, that means it was my job to check on the drunk. I easily slipped off the armchair and padded towards the bathroom, opening the door without even knocking, to find Dean only clad in his boxers, sitting in the shower with water pouring down on him, he was half asleep, wow he must be nice and bombed, what a moron. Quickly I opened the shower door, and shut off the water, he then looked up at me surprised at my presence.

"Come on, Captain Jack, time for bed." I chided softly at him like he was a child, gripping his firm muscular forearm in my hand, trying to encourage him to stand up as I yanked on him a bit.

"Cann'tt a mann showa in pieces." He slurred at me, clearly still not happy with me.

"I think you meant in peace, but yeah you already did, now its time for bed lets go."

"Sugar, don't tell me what to do ok."

"I'm not, I'm just trying to help you out." I bit out, annoyed with him already, big stubborn mule that he was. He snorted at me.

"I don't need your help, nor would I want it, now go run along, get out of my face." He spat drunkenly.

"Whatever Dean, deal with your own crap then." I said.

"I will when you do smartass." He quipped back and then suddenly climbed to his feet and pushed past me sopping wet.

"Get back here, you are going to soak the room, you need to get dried off." This was like dealing with an infant, he cannot be serious right now! I ripped a towel off the rack and quickly stalked after him.

"Dean come here right now!" I scolded, he was getting water freaking everywhere all over all of our sheets and pillows, seriously.

"You're kinda hot when you're all demanding, if you want me all you gotta do is ask." He slurred suggestively.

"Seriously you disgust me, just take this dry off, shut up, and go to bed already, moron." I cried back disgusted while chucking the towel at him, which he caught quite deftly for a man smashed out of his mind, where the hell was Sam, this was not my responsibility. He waggled his eyebrows at me and winked and I then flipped him off, while climbing back onto my armchair bed.

"Oh no you don't, we talked about this, you sleep in the bed, now don't make me drag you there." He said.

"Just leave me alone Dean." I replied exhaustedly.

"No can do princess, now come on you need your beauty sleep for your attitude and those nice bags under your eyes."

"Shut up Dean!"

"Nope, don't make me carry you!"

"I swear if you so much as touch me, there will be blood." I snarled defensively.

"Hah so scary! Alright lets go." And before I could jump away he had once again thrown me over his shoulder, what the hell, I am not an inanimate object, he needs to stop with this shit. He easily plopped my down on the bed even though he had swayed drunkenly a few times, and grinned down at me, obviously happy with his stupid victory over me.

"Now move over princess." He barked pushing me a bit.

"Seriously I don't wanna share with you, why can't I just take the chair." I complained, sick of this ongoing argument over sleeping arrangements.

" I don't care what you want, you're stuck with me for tonight." He said climbing quickly into the bed and taking up most of it like the ass he was.

"Whatever lard, next motel I'm ordering a cot." I spat angrily turning to my side trying to get comfortable.

"Who you calling lard, this is pure muscle, miss. bony, the other night your freaking hip bone was jutting into my stomach!" He bantered back.

"Whatever, then don't assault me in my sleep, and then maybe you won't have that problem."

"Oh that wasn't all me sweetheart, don't flatter yourself".

"Whatever asshole, where is Sam?" I asked slightly concerned in all honesty.

"On the phone with Garth…outside…can't sleep…now just shut up I'm tired." He replied slow, labored, drunken, and half asleep.

"Gladly." I spat, scooting as far from him as I could without falling off the bed, searching for sleep again.

I woke up snuggled into asshole boy, once again, according to Sam's earlier report. I sighed quietly, I have to admit the guy was pretty comfortable and warm, but he definitely needed a shower maybe I should have left his ass in their last night probably would smell better now. I wriggled against him a bit and I felt him stiffen.

"Cut it out, this is the best sleep I've gotten in a while, now don't interrupt it." He muttered groggily burying his head in his pillow keeping my back flushed against his body tightly. Uh, he was so self-centered my god, too bad for him I was hungry I was getting up. I softly elbowed him in the stomach, well actually it was hard enough to make him retract his grasp on me and curse me out, as I jumped out of bed and was greeted by an amused smile from Sam, who was once again hunched over his computer and a pad and paper, with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Where did you get the coffee?" I inquired excitedly looking to quench my caffeine addiction.

" The diner, next door, I'll come with you." He replied easily.

"I can go on my own its fine."

"I would prefer it if you didn't, under the circumstances." I groaned, I would never get a moment alone again would I, this demon bounty shit was really stomping on my personal space quota.

"Fine, let me just change." I replied and headed for the bathroom to just fix my face to a degree and brush my teeth, maybe I'd even get creative and change my shirt.

Sam and I walked back into the motel room in an easy silence him reading over some documents while I stuffed half of an egg sandwich down my throat at once, yeah, yeah I ate like a guy I inherited that from Griffith, he may be my twin, but he was still seven minutes older, and that meant I spent my whole life following his lead and example like it was the holy bible or something. We were greeted by Dean, who was sitting on the bed pulling on his boots, and jamming to "heat of the moment" on the radio.

"Sammy, Fido, please tell me someone brought me something to eat." I stopped chewing for a moment and Sam awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and shrugged, his face contracting into a guilty smile.

"Come on guys, not even some pie, seriously you went to a Diner and got me nothing."

"You snooze you lose." I said threw mouths of egg not really caring, about the train wreck in my mouth, just continuing to eat and smirk at Dean.

"Really attractive Fido, now come here." He chided, what the hell, in two seconds he grabbed me from behind and wrapped one arm around my waist, and held me in place as he stole the rest of my sandwich, hell no this dork was not going to mess with my food now too, and stuffed the rest of it into his stupid face all at once, seriously! I elbowed him hard, in anger.

"Hey watch it I'm eating, sugar."

"My Sandwich you ass-hat!"

"Speaking of your things or whatever, let me have a sip of your coffee I need to wash that down." He replied reaching for the mug in my hand.

"Hell no, you definitely should not be messing with my food, but if you mess with my caffeine I literally will dismember you, stay the hell away!"

"Easy Fido, I just want a sip." He quipped still reaching for it and holding my waist in place, so I couldn't move.

"Don't make me bite you, dumbo."

"Like you would ever." He smirked and rolled his eyes.

"You wanna make a bet, cause I could really use the cash, bud."

"You're on princess." He replied winking but since he already had my waist on freaking lockdown, before I could react he spun me around jacked my coffee out of my hands, but he wasn't quite fast enough, because in a smooth swift reaction my boot heel came down on his foot not clad in a boot yet, and he jumped up howling in pain, cursing as usual at me, and I ripped my coffee mug back from his hands and strode away in victory, towards the small table Sam sat at shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"Seriously Dean just stop messing with her it's enough already." Sam replied entertained.

"Son of a bitch, I'm so damn sick of babysitting that little piece of work, Jesus Christ that hurt, what the hell is the bottom of your shoe made of." I chuckled.

"I just put all my weight into it, why does wittle baby hurt, does he need a band-aid?" I teased with malice, and Sam laughed.

"Look who got beat up by a chick now." Sam goaded happily.

"Shut the hell up Sammy, and princess this ain't over, far from it in fact."

"Well then bring it, I look forward to months of whooping you ass on the side."

"Sugar keep that attitude, it'll be good for you when you are waving that white flag."

"Well just have to see."

"Alright children, that's enough, lets discuss the case." Sam called trying to round us up back in line.

"Yeah yeah, just know Fido, you owe me a drink, I won the bet."

"How so!?" I chirped back.

"You didn't bite me, that was the bet."  
"Who cares, Caroline you owe Dean a drink, now back to the damn case!" Sam cried clearly annoyed at us. I grumbled and muttered under my breath a bit, but sat down across from Sam nonetheless and gave him my attention, as Dean strode over and leaned over the back of Sam's chair.

"Glad we can all be present and aware for this…so there has been a string of suicides in town, all cuts to the wrist, but here's the thing, the cuts to the wrist are not just typical slashes, no they're a type of marking." Sam spoke with determination and speed.

"So we thinking spirit, killing the victims, and leaving some sort of brand like a serial killer perhaps, something that has to do with the way they died?" Dean spun off Sam quite easily.

"I was considering that at first, but get this, the marking, I did some research on it, its not our normal symbol stuff, no ancient mumbo jumbo or mythology, its actually local and fairly new about fifty years old, maybe, it's a cult symbol. A cult that was founded here about sixty to fifty years ago, so I'm thinking our spirit was a member of the cult and the cult had something to do with their death." Sam bounced back easily, I recognized an effective dynamic between the two the way they rolled ideas and conclusions off on another, and filled in each other's gaps it was actually similar to Griffith and I, and suddenly I felt the whole, I felt it pulse, and widen, but I knew I couldn't focus on it or fill it now, so instead, I threw my head into the case.

"So what type of cult are we dealing with here, is it religious, strictly social, black magic, deity, what's the focus?" In inquired before Dean could and out of the corner of my eye I saw him smirk, yeah, yeah, I could fit into this lifestyle pretty easily I knew that, but this would not be my destiny as Sam said…would it?

"Well here's the thing, it was based in religion, Catholicism to be exact as it was deemed the order of Saint Michael, but from what I could dig up it went pretty social, becoming a social society for a group of men, all some part of the church or church community. I have not really started digging too much up on their characters, but I'm pretty sure it's the holier than thou type of guys. And even more interesting is twenty years ago there was a string of murders with these guys, who were members of the cult, as prime suspects of them, they got off on reasonable doubt, but most hold them responsible. Funny thing is the murders were not random either they had a type. The victims were either atheist, not religious, history of infidelity or some sort of public offense in the eyes of a catholic." The gears in my brain turned and I started to easily piece something together.

"So what if they were some type of vigilantes, especially since they took the name of Saint Michael the archangel, who is known for striking down sin, killing those they thought were tainted and committing some type of wrong, and what if they killed one of their own who they thought went off the grid, or went rouge or something, and now it wants it revenge, what do your suicide victims have in common?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking, and each of them had some sort of link to the cult either they had a friend or family member in it or they were in it themselves, so it seems pretty likely the cult did something screwed up to someone, and now they want to swipe the town clean of the cult." Sam replied excitedly clearly fully into the case and Dean nodded, his form of approval at my work.

"So lets dig up some dirt on these members."

"Yup, see if we can find one with affiliation to the cult in that string of murders or maybe even just a member with some sort of foul play detected in his death." Sam replied easily.

"Well lets get cracking then." Dean called already half way out the door spinning his keys in between his fingers again and again.

After a good long day of research, we had located a few leads, but no perfect fit yet, and Dean had spent most of the time complaining and badgering Sam and I who were actually trying to get stuff done, until he left to interview some people we had dug up as possible connections. Sam and I trumped into the hotel room pretty tired and drained, we had resolved to turn in for the night and try to connect the rest of the dots early tomorrow morning and hopefully locate the right bones and torch them. Dean was already passed out in our shared bed taking up most of it, and Sam sighed and looked at me seriously.

"You can share with me if ya want, I don't think you'll be able to make a lot of room for yourself with the way Dean has himself situated."

"Nah its fine I'll just push his fat ass over, don't worry about it." I wasn't crazy comfortable about sleeping next to Dean, but I was somewhat use to it now and jumping into bed literally of course, with the other brother really wasn't that appealing to me. At least I knew Dean could be a bed hog as well as a suffocating cuddler in his sleep, Sam was a wildcard at the moment, and I would rather stick with what I knew, creature of habitat thing, I guess.

"Suit yourself, good luck moving the grump, I'm going to take a shower." Sam replied chuckling, leaving me to deal with lardo. First I changed into usual pair of sweats and v-neck and whipped my hair into a low loose ponytail as I trudged exhaustedly over to the bed.

"Dean." I said, while shaking him lightly, "Dean, come on, wake up." I shook him again and he grunted and rolled towards me.

"Your back." He grumbled gravely.

"Yeah, move over fatty."

"Who you calling fat, bony."

"Dean enough, I'm so tired just move over ok."

"Ok baby if you wanna get in bed with me, all you have to do is ask nicely, but the demanding thing is hot, as I said before." His voice was gravely and thick with sleep.

"Seriously! Dean I'm way too tired for this shit."

"So does that mean no hanky panky tonight." He joked suggestively.

"That means never asshole." I cried disgustedly slapping his arm.

"Ow princess, so unnecessary now come here I need to get back to my beauty sleep, its not easy being this handsome." He swiped his arm out and pulled me by my waist down into bed next to him, cuddling me close.

"Now no complaints about this position, this is a small bed and we both sleep better this way, its strictly business, now shut up and sleep before you start running your mouth, I'm not in the mood." What an asshole, typical Dean.

"Asshat". I muttered angrily, shifting into him making myself comfortable, whatever if we had to sleep this way, I was going to be damn comfy!

"I heard that wiseass."

"Yeah, Yeah."I grunted out, closing my eyes, bringing to my mind the images of the blue van, which made my body tense under his grip.

"Hey loosen up, that's super uncomfortable for me too princess, what's the deal?"

"Well it's the way I fall asleep, so you'll have to deal." I muttered.

"Bad memories?" I didn't answer, my business wasn't his, and bad memories didn't even begin to cover the guilt, emptiness, hatred, and anger that lied behind my eyelids, not even close.

"Just breathe fido alright, in and out, just focus on your breaths not images, just breaths." He spoke in the most compassionate tone he had ever used on me, and suddenly I felt him drawing circles with his fingertips on my back, and my first instinct led me to try and wriggle away and kick at him in an effort to escape.

"Caroline, stop, I'm not assaulting you as you would say, I'm just trying to get your body to relax, you'll sleep better that way and so will I, just relax I'm not trying to be weird or anything alright." He continued to draw circles in silence and my squirming and kicking grew less frequent and less forceful and eventually exhausted I stopped all together, my body felt less tense, but the images they remained, they still were there, but the tension was to a lesser degree and finally I felt myself drift, but the blue eyes were still my last thought.

I woke with my head buried in Deans chest and for once in my life I did not wake up with a stiff stress ridden body instead I was looser more relaxed just as Dean had claimed I would be, I guess he could be useful for something at least. All of sudden I felt him softly run his fingers through my hair in a comforting motion, and for the first time I leaned into his touch like a normal girl would, for a second I kept my walls at bay, but just for a moment I told myself. Then his lips grazed the top of my head and that's when I tensed felt it had gone too far, past the line of comfort and support and into territory I never wanted to visit with someone again.

"Shh princess, relax, I'm not going to hurt you." Dean used that same compassionate tone with me again, he must want in my pants or something, he must not be getting enough on the road lately or something and I was convenient. I wanted to get away to run, to escape, to drive, to leave like I was known for with any relationship except for the ties to my family in my life, but he kept me anchored to him with his arms and something else, something I could not place or understand. My eyes fluttered open and I peered up at him frightened, but ok with knowing this was just a temporary means of comfort, a way to fill that hole for the moment until it widened and gaped open again, honestly I was using him too. His green eyes gazed down at me, they were still as captivating as when I first connected with them hooded and full of depth and feeling.

"Your eyes are gold." He rumbled gravely, maybe truly noticing me as a chick for the first time, who even knows, but my eyes did change color I guess it was a fair statement to a degree.

"Yeah they change, sometimes their hazel, sometimes their greenish, and sometimes their gold." I muttered looking down, uncomfortable from his heated gaze on my face. I did not need to be objectified and made into some asses sick fantasy, but at the same time I just did not want to struggle and escape away from him at the moment, I just wanted to stay here for a few more moments. Where was Sam? I hope to god he wasn't witnessing this, I'd never live it down, so frantically I tried to wrench my head around in search of him, but Dean stopped me, pulling me closer to him.

"He's out, back at the library I think, said he think he found our guy last night, relax ok, you're as skittish as a stray dog." He joked shaking his head. Well yeah maybe I was, I had some trust issues to say the least and I liked distance and space and walls.

"Dean." I whispered in a childlike manner.

"Yeah". His replied gruffly.

"I'm sorry about the other day for the stuff I said." And he immediately tensed.

"Don't go all soft on me now alright, this is not the feelings circle, I thought you weren't into that stuff either." He shot out pretty defensively.

"I'm not I just thought I hit some serious chords and should try to make amends."

"Well I don't do fluff and its already forgotten don't worry about it, its fine." He replied curtly, appearing to want to drop the topic quickly.

"Well I don't like fluff either so lets make a no fluff pact, we can watch each others backs whatever, but no fluff between us alright."

"Yeah sounds good, Sam's got enough fluff for the both of us, trust me pretty soon he's going to want to have a damn sharing and caring day and you are on your own then cause I'm getting lost."

"Oh hell no don't you leave me with that!"

"If your real good maybe I'll take ya with me."

"You better asswipe."

"Well at least we can agree on one thing." He chuckled loosening his grip on me running his fingers through my hair softly once more, well at least now we were on decent terms although they were blurry ones.


	3. Chapter 3- A Goodnight's Sleep

Dark, damp, and musty, that was my current status that I radioed over to the two cavemen in hushed irritation. We were currently staked out in an abandoned warehouse where according to my research the cult use to gather every week. Our supposed malicious spirit had been pretty quite for sometime now, and although we had a few leads still nothing concrete was decided on its identity. So here we were putting our asses on the line by trying to recreate one of these cult meetings, hoping to lure the thing right to us. I clutched my iron crowbar tight as I continued to light tall slender wax candles throughout the hall. Dean was spreading a ring of ash in the main part of the warehouse, apparently symbolic of the worlds sins as well as a circle of holy water around the ash, meant to purify the sins, and finally at the center of all that crap, a photograph of a sinful being who needed to be punished. Originally the cult would place someone from the towns photograph in the center, but for our purposes and Dean's pure stupidity, well it actually was pretty funny, there was a photograph of Crowley's meat suit at the center. Fitting that the king of hell would be our sinner, I had encountered his majesty all of two times, and neither of them had been pleasant. And in all honesty, I would rather not recount them because each was in accordance with a deal, one deal was my mother's and the other was one I tried to enact myself, but as with all demon-deals they did not go quite as planned. The boys did not know of my dealings with Crowley, and I preferred to keep it that way, there were something's that were my own to carry, like the blue van…And of course Sam was huddled in a corner of the warehouse trying to scrounge up some last minute details on who we were dealing with.

"I finished up over here, heading to you." I mumbled into the old walky over to the boys, which prompted a grunt from good ole' Dean and a curt ok from Sam. As I entered the main room I instantly caught sight of Dean, faded forest green button up, worn black shirt, tattered jeans and boots, rocking back and forth on his heels smirking and chuckling at his handiwork, being the photograph of Crowley. Dean definitely could be in a relationship with himself. "So when are we starting this suicide plan up?" I chirped sarcastically with my arms crossed over my chest, boot heel firmly planted onto the cement floor with my hip jutted out just a tad.

"Fido, you found us, what an exceptional creature, you wanna a bone?" quipped the bonehead better known as Dean.

"Very funny, no thanks, would you like some book smarts or perhaps even a moral compass with your pie later?"

"Don't bring my pie into this doll face, it isn't something to joke about."

"Enough, you two. It's almost time and I would like two functioning adults backing me up here, emphasis on adults." Sam replied while standing up and brushing off his jeans, while eyeing us both in a parental fashion.

"Yeah, yeah we go it…bitch."

"Jerk." Sam replied back almost as if they were reciting a nursery rhyme or some catchphrase, they definitely had some strange bonding mechanisms. Then again Griffith and I had things like that, but none of that made sense to me anymore because Griffith was gone and all those things that linked us, bonded us, made us a duo were gone and it was like grasping at straws because it was just me no matter how many memories I held onto, in reality it was still just me.

"Fido you still with us, we need to get into position?" I jumped a bit, burst out my thoughts, my faded memories of Griffith, the shards of us, chasing birds down a beach, bumping shoulders everywhere we walked, food fights, him finishing the crust from all my sandwiches and pieces of pizza because I hate the crust, scary movies, bed jumping contests till mom flipped out on us, staring contests, thumb wars, endless matches of rock, paper, scissors in our attempts to evade chores, lip syncing sessions, air guitar duets, doctors appointments, fighting over stickers, toys, and soccer balls till we graduated to iPods, videogame consoles, and computers, learning to drive together, graduating side by side, prom, music fests…laughter, curses, screams, insults, jokes, congratulations, pride, joy, friendship, all shattered freezing for a moment suspended in thin air and then crashing to the ground and into the abyss as Dean stood in front of me waving his hand back and forth in my face, and barking meaningless words at me again.

"I'm here, I'm here, just cut it out!" I blurted out defensively scooting a few steps back from him.

"Good space-cadet, because we have business to attend to in case you've forgotten."

"Dean, lay off." Sam quipped nudging him and mumbling something to him, assholes I'm standing right here.

"You Freud, I'm standing right here, wanna psychoanalysis me, do it to my face at least, alright." I blurted out nastily at Sam, whose eyes went wide as his hands went up in innocence.

"Look Caroline, I did not…"

"Just stop, lets just work the case, ok." I replied cutting him off a little sick of him tip toeing around me, I was a big girl the only reason I was here was because of some ridiculous demon bounty, someone please run me over with a truck now.

"Ok, well we all need to join in a circle around the ring of purity and join hands." Sam said clearing his throat awkwardly.

"What is this the sharing circle from "out of the box"?" I replied snickering a bit.

"Yeah this is some head case shit Sam, sure it'll work?" Dean asked will shaking his head and tightly grabbing my hand and Sam's.

"Only one way to find out." Sam said while shrugging joining his free hand with mine completing our feelings circle, gag me please. Then Sam started to read off some ridiculous mumbo jumbo about sinners, and God's holy chosen ones, and smiting the evils of the world even people. I tapped my foot and laid my head back bored out of my mind because the ceremony was almost complete and nothing, not a single flicker or cold chill or weird moan was occurring. Just silence and Sam conducting some purity rights, why are we even here. I breathed out deeply in an annoyed fashion and then there it was I could see my breath, I instantly nudged Sam in the rib cage, and he jumped and looked at me questioningly, but then shivered and eyed me knowingly. I simply shrugged, let go of his hand and grabbed my iron crow bar from the ground. The candles still lit up the area and there was really no sign of a spirit except the chill that hung in the air. Dean gripped his pistol tight, holding it cocked as he did a quick sweep around the area, but still nothing. I dug my fingers into my back jean pocket gripping what I had left of Griffith, all I had left, his dog tag worn and tarnished, all they could give me when they recounted Griffith's strange disappearance while he was on tour in Afghanistan right before Faith's eventful visit that night and the announcement of that damned prophesy, but no sign of Griffith anywhere, definitely what you would call an eventful day, chock full of heartwarming surprises.

"Where is the damned thing?" Dean grunted out impatiently.

"All I got is classic unnerving cold right now Dean, I don't know." Sam replied back in a dazed tone. Then a few moments or maybe minutes I'm not sure, the adrenaline always altered time perception for me, I felt a touch on my back and I whipped around ready to bat eighty on this shit of a ghost, yeah I had some pent up rage, leave me be. I was stopped mid swing however, by Deans tight grasp on my crowbar and a lazy grin on his face, mother shitter, it was here the whole time, spirit possession, oh yay. Dean roughly pushed me back, and I stumbled, but regained my footing as I dug my heels into the cement, balancing myself out.

"Hey there douche, this should be an exciting fight I've been dying to kick the crud out you and the meat suit you're having a camp out on in, so thanks, ya did me a favor, two birds, one stone." I bit out with a sprinkle of humor to my tone as I swiftly turned my several rings into position and landed a sucker punch to the gut of Dean or the spirit or… who the hell even cares at this point, they are both assholes anyhow. It, he, whatever stumbled back a bit and just grinned, where the hell is Sam!

"You are a feisty one, this bonehead in here he's got quite a few thoughts about you, I should really just dispose of you now, make him suffer the way I did, make someone else feel my pain." The spirit screeched through Dean, it sounded almost feminine though what the hell, was this some chick. And what did she mean thoughts about me, and why would Dean even care if I lived or died? Whatever that's not important, I need answers, if its possessing people like this and moving around pretty easily there has to be some object that its tied to that's being moved, what the hell could it be.

"Look I just want to talk." I said calmly, hoping to extract some information, I could only harm the thing at this point; there was no immediate way to gank it.

"They all want to talk sweetheart, I don't talk."

"I want to help."

"Help!? Well that's a new one, quite rich indeed, I'm already trapped, what do you think you could even help me with." Dean-spirit thing seethed out. Shit she/he must be pretty dang strong, thing has a firm hold on Dean's meat suit and is pretty capable of expressing itself.

"AHH!" Deans face contorted in pain and his neck twisted back and forth as Sam, thank the damn lord, doused his body in salt, calling me over, to hold him down, as he poured salt into his mouth, causing the spirit to extract itself and disappear into the night as Dean fell over and dragged me down with him, god damnit, fat asshat! Quickly I pushed his rock of a body off of me and he fell softly on his side, while Same quickly bent down over him chanting his name at him several times, nothing happened, shit is he ok, why isn't he coming too. Sam ran a hand through his thin shaggy hair and sighed dejectedly.

"Sorry man, has to be done." Sam mumbled out and then he freaking slapped him, man I would have volunteered for that. Dean's eyes shot open and his instinctively shoved Sam away from him, his hand shooting up to his reddish colored cheek.

"What the actual hell Sam?!" He roared.

"Dean we have to get out of here quick, that thing it could come back and posses someone else, for now, leaving is our best option, I had to get you conscious." Sam replied hurriedly. Dean grumbled a bit, blinked several times, shook his head and then slowly got to his feet all while glaring at Sam.

"Freaking hate when that happens, every time they jumble everything up, rifling through all my shit, its like a freaking brain rape, I feel so violated." Dean complained angrily as he pulled out his pistol from his back pocket and swiftly got it into gear to shoot if need be while shoving Sam behind him angrily. Sam then proceeded to give me a little nudge, to jolt me to attention, because apparently we were sprinting out of the joint.

Back at the hotel Dean was taking pretty large swigs from a bottle of Jack, while Sam continued to grill me on my conversation with the spirit, he apparently had disappeared to get the salt and missed most of our exchange.

"Look I really think it was a chick man." I stressed again to Sam.

"But how? All the members were males, they had to be." Sam said firmly.

"I'm telling you it was a girl, maybe she was a sister or a wife, someone ganked her husband brother whatever, its plausible."

"She did say she wanted someone to experience loss the way she did." Sam quipped back rubbing his chin, that was uncomfortable to recount I modified it a bit to leave out the part about my supposed value to Dean, which was a lie, I knew that, I just did not want to make anything more awkward then it already was. Spirits, demons, creatures all these things love to mess with emotions, I wasn't stupid, I knew that well enough. Dean used people for his own ends that was clear to me, dude was incapable of valuing anyone besides himself and well Sam and Bobby, he did protect his family with all he had, I would give him that, but anyone else was pretty worthless to him it seemed to me, unless he was saving them from a supernatural death. People like me though, ones that knew of the supernatural world, weren't innocent lives, we didn't hold much worth to a guy like Dean.

"Look Sam I know you don't sleep ever, but it's been a long day, I'm tried, can we pick this up in the morning, I'll hit the town records with you again early, we have a more narrow search now, but I need sleep." I said yawning and stretching my arms a bit.

"Yeah sorry, go ahead." He replied, smiling at me softly. I nodded gratefully and padded to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. I quickly pulled on my normal ratty sweats, and new york giants tee-shirt, washing my face languidly and then lazily brushing my teeth. As I climbed into bed Dean was still seated at the table pouring himself another cup of jack, he downed it pretty swiftly, then, looked up at Sam and motioned towards the door, seriously he was leaving now.

"Yeah ok try not to get brain raped, as you would say, again." Sam replied, I remember that, conversations without words, when you just knew what the other person was thinking. I sighed sadly to myself and curled myself into a tight ball and like always shut my eyes to the blue van, the wide eyes, the screams, the maroon liquid that glided all over, the strong scent of ammonia, and the anger of a thousand eyes. My body shuddered uncontrollably and suddenly I felt a soft stroke on my back, my eyes shot open, Sam.

"You ok?" He asked softly, a lot like Griffith use to.

"Yeah, just memories." I replied honestly, feeling that Sam and I shared something I didn't quite know, yet recognized in his eyes.

"Me too…try to get some rest though." He replied knowingly, and patted my head in a brotherly fashion. He then returned back to his spot at the desk, waving at me jokingly.

"If ya need me, I'll be here."

"Try to sleep too Sam ok." I nodded yawning, "but thanks." I said while grinning a bit, feeling a slight tug of the bond I use to know with Griffith materialize again, but as my eyes shut the van, the eyes, still returned.

I was jostled awake to the familiar smell of booze and firewood, as my eyes softly fluttered open to Dean climbing into bed….half naked, oh hell no, the sleeping together was an understood tragedy, but clothes were required, so not ok.

"Dean, Pants!" I whisper yelled, noticing Sam finally asleep, thank god.

"Hmm" He grunted out, clearly intoxicated.

"Pants now." I complained again.

"No I don't like pants after sex." What the actual hell?!

"What the hell! Get out of this bed right now, and shower you cannot be serious!" I cried still whispering will shoving him with all my might, thoroughly disgusted. Thanks to his intoxication, he was easier to roll and less aware so I was able to push his repulsive germ infested body off the bed. UH I didn't even wanna sleep here now that is so unbelievably gross. Wait why isn't he screaming at me or fighting back? I peered over the bed to find him passed out on the floor, hah serves him right, he can stay there. And then that annoying little voice in my head piped up and made me feel all bad and crap so unfortunately for me and my bitcher side, I climbed out of the bed placed a pillow underneath his head and draped a quilt over him, good enough right. I then proceeded to wash my hands, and climbed back into my side of the bed while creating a wall of pillows blocking me from rolling onto his side into the land of the gift that keeps on giving, lovely.

"Caroline…Caroline…..CAROLINE!" Huh what now Meredith I'm sleeping, wait no not Meredith? My eyes opened to find Dean towering over me clearly annoyed; what was his problem now?

"what you want?" I mumbled out groggily.

"why was I tucked in on the floor and what is this frickin wall of pillows doing on the bed."

"you…gross…sleep." I mumbled out nearing the land of dreams again.

"Oh no, no, no, my back is killing, my neck feels like it was put through the ringer, you are not just going back to sleep."

"mm watch me." I whispered out groggily cuddling into my pillow.

"stupid, infuriating, little cute spitball of a pain in my ass." I half heard him mumble, wait cute what? No I heard wrong back to sleepland. The colors behind my eyes swirled together into black and I felt the void pull me back in, back into the white van and red emergency lights.

…..

"Dean she probably threw you out of the bed cause you got in there after having sex, moron, that's kind of gross."

"Ok Mr. clean, but how did she find out?"

"You really aren't too private when you are inebriated" uh could they keep it down and hah Sam always drew the right conclusions, but I'm trying to sleep here.

"She really pisses me off." Dean grumbled, "I wanna send her to Bobby's now. I can't take it anymore!"

"Dean shut up, you just don't like that you can't just get with her like every other girl, she's restricted and its driving you mad.' Wait what no back up.

"What, no, Sam are you out of your frickin mind this is more insane then when you claimed that Becky was your soul mate! She's screwed up man." Hey what the hell!

"I was drugged jerk, and oh and you're just perfectly normal, keeping it all inside, you're just dandy never talking about anything you feel, just letting it sit and fester."

"Sam, we talked about this I'm fine seriously I don't need a feelings circle damnt, and I definitely don't wanna get with the fire breathing dragon." What an asshat.

"Yeah ok Dean, and thin line between love and hate man thin line. And at least ease up on her, she's definitely been through a lot try to have some empathy."

"There is no line because there is zero attraction. And so have we Sam, and we don't go around acting like stuck up prisses all the time ok." I was no diva, what the hell is his issue I thought we came to a truce!

"Oh ok Dean, that's why when you first met her your jaw nearly unhinged and almost every guy she passes gets some serious whiplash, no attraction whatsoever. And like you aren't in a doomsday mood perpetually." Huh…I don't give guys whiplash, I'm pretty average.

"Enough Sam, just enough ok, why can't we ever just do our job without you making everyone freakin share and care!"

"Fine Dean have it your way…it'll blow up sooner or later."

"Yeah well I wish that touchy feely part of your brain would freakin blow up and leave me alone." Dean grumbled out and I heard his feet distinctly clomp into the bathroom and then the door slammed. Whatever its still early I'm going back to bed, plus its too risky to wake up now and hint that I may have heard that conversation. The blue van was better than that at this point.

I woke up for the thousandth time that morning to someone stroking my hair, oh what the hell. I felt weight on the other side of the bed, heard a soft humming…Metallica, and the scent of firewood was present…Dean.

"You are something else." He mumbled out as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear…did he not realize this was creepy.

"I guess I just, I'm sorry for being so hard on you, I'm hard on Sam too, I have to be, you guys have to be able to handle reality, I have to look out for you two, and toughening you up makes us all safer." He softly confessed…so he did care, he wasn't heartless or selfish. He was still cocky and surly though for sure.

"You really cannot handle yourself your way too fragile, you think you're tough just like Jo did." I am tough and wait who the hell is Jo?

"I can't let what happened to Jo happen to you, Ellen trusted me like your mom trusts me, I just, I cant. I cant go through that again." What was he talking about? Who was Jo, Ellen, how was I anything like them? However the clear emotion and pain in his voice pulled at that stupid voice in my head once again, his breath was labored, and I couldn't just lie there anymore, the voice wouldn't just shut up. So, I quietly rolled myself over and propped my head onto his chest while intertwining my arms around him. He didn't stiffen, or move, or even flinch, he just wound his arms around me and for a moment we understood each other, we silently came to an agreement and I softly traced shapes on the bare of his stomach where his shirt had ridden up in efforts to comfort him, as he traced spirals onto the hollow of my neck. And for a moment I felt a spark, a spark of emotion, of bond, of loyalty, of something I would inevitably run from when I had the chance. And once again I was lulled to sleep, but not quite before I heard him mumble the word beautiful.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Old Habits Die Hard

It was dark and exceptionally quite except for the approaching hums of engines here and there, but those were few and infrequent. I clutched the worn photograph tightly as I peered down it trying to piece things to together and understand what it could mean for the case. I think Sam and I had finally cracked it wide open, but there were several things that remained unclear like the object the spirit was tied to and where we could even locate such a thing, but the identity was now clear, almost painfully obvious. I tapped my heel against the hood of my SUV where I was sitting and ran my fingertips lightly over the dog tags in my hands, but a voice broke the silence.

"Well, well look at who is all grown up and out on her own, mommy finally let you out the front door C.C.". I knew that voice, I had not heard that voice in so long, only one person called me C.C. it couldn't be, there was no way. I whipped around and jumped off the hood almost instantly; to be met by the piercing green eyes I never thought I would see again. Her hair, fire red shiny locks, was much longer, but it was tied away into a neat French braid, her nails were perfectly kept adorned with a French manicure, unlike my bitten down and bloody ones, and she was as vivacious and uh…well-endowed as ever wearing a tight low cut v-neck with a short leather mini skirt and lace up bootie heels. It was Faith alright, I felt this odd mixture of feelings; I wanted to run and hug her, to cling to the first materialization of my brother in seven years, but she was the reason he was gone and the other part of me wanted to strangle her right then and there, but I could finally get answers, a chance at finding Griffith, what I needed to do in reality…was trap her.

"Faith." I blurted out a bit shakily, I could not mask my surprise or raw feelings.

"I can see that your still a bit shaken up dear, seven years not enough time for you to lick your wounds?" She chided at me. This wasn't the Faith I knew, the Faith I knew took care of me in my undergraduate years when I got mono, coached me through one of my worst relationships, and played air guitar alongside me to Led-Zeppelin, then again that all was a lie, she stole Griffith from me, she was not human, she was not who she pretended to be, she did not love my brother or my family the way I thought she did, but could she fake all of that. I was so conflicted, the last time I saw her, the prophecy, and then she was gone before I could even get a word out edgewise. So all I could feel now was emotion, longing, hatred, sadness, and nostalgia, I did not know what to think or how to feel, I just needed answers. I balled up my fists tightly searching for some kind of strength.

"Where is he?" I spat out emotionally, my voice breaking.

"Still so weak, so fragile, so ruled by emotion. That's why it had to be him, it could never be you, you just could never fill the role." Faith chuckled appearing almost amused, this was sick, I felt sick.

"What role?" I seethed out, my stomach churning.

"Oh little one, all in good time all in good time." I flinched at little one it was her term of endearment for me besides C.C. anytime she comforted me, anytime she stopped me from running the toilet to make myself wretch, or helped to pull me out of a relationship that was destroying me she always called me little one.

"Don't call me that, you lost that right, where is my brother you lying, conniving traitor!" I cried out my voice breaking entirely as a tearless sob attempted to shake my body. I hadn't plunged my index finger and thumb down my throat in months, but for the first time in a long time the urge was their again, I needed another feeling, a way to escape, my stomach lurched again and my fingers twitched. All of sudden I heard footsteps, running, and the sound of voices, Dean and Sam. Faith held up her hand though and some shield went up, I could see them and hear them, and they could see and hear me, but they couldn't come any closer. I couldn't register on what they were saying it was all too much, I could only filter through Dean's curses and threats and Sam's attempts at negotiation.

"What C.C. you going to go stick your fingers down your throat again numb the pain? Where's Bryson now, I think your jumbled brain could use another good push down a cement staircase." My body shook, she was using all my weaknesses all, my darkest moments and turning them out, bringing them out to play again, she helped heal me to only reopen the wounds. I felt rage, I felt betrayal, but most of all I felt pure hurt and loss, loss of a friend, a sister, of someone I trusted.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! Where is he god damint where is my brother you sick bitch! What did you do with him, he wasn't yours to take!?" I screamed approaching her like a whirlwind of rage.

"Step it back Pollyanna, I know who you really are, your true colors, remember that, you can front all you want with me, but I know the truth about you, every detail, now step down, don't make me make things ugly, wouldn't want to damage that adorable little face the way Bryson did, now would we?" This bitch I cant believe this how could she fake all this, how could she do this to me.

"Faith you and I have a lot of history, but I will not hesitate in harming you to get to Griffith, I wouldn't even think twice about it." I barked out trying to keep up the act, trying to stand resolute.

"You harm me? You naïve, silly little girl, you couldn't even leave a scratch on me if you managed to muster up all your strength and a bit more. Do you still not get it, what I am, what this is? This isn't a human playing field anymore honey, suit up, you're batting with angels now." Angels. What the actual shit, what a joke, and before I could react she smirked at me with a sly wink and disappeared in flash of light and rush of wind as the shield collapsed. I heard running, but I couldn't think I needed to get to her, to get Griffith. I started to run.

"FAITH! You stupid freaking, bitch! You get your ass back here right now, I swear to god I will end you, son of a bitch!" I dropped to my knees in pure frustration, everything hurt, she made me relive all my darkest moments and worst of all was watching her cut me up and toss me out, plunging into my soul taking it out, putting it on display as a joke for all to see and then throwing it away like yesterdays trash. And for the first time in 5 months I jammed my thumb and index fingers down my throat and wretched. I wretched for all that I had lost, for the trust I had in Faith, for Griffith, for my own naïve and stupid ways, and I just kept going my esophagus burned my stomach doubled with pain, until someone was at my side rubbing my back and softly taking my fingers away from my mouth.

"No more tonight Caroline, no more." Sam's voice was gentle. I couldn't fight I was weak she was right I was done, I felt numb, dead, like the days I first found out about Griffith, I was a rag doll. I plopped down onto my butt, and just stared at the cement lost completely, once again swirling into my own world. I had always held out the naïve hope that Faith had been possessed and just used as a pawn because she was close to Griffith, but now I knew the truth, she really had actively deceived us all and the bond I had with her was all fake and simply a joke to her and besides losing Griffith, that hurt most of all. For the first time the Winchester Brothers had nothing to say, and that was indeed rare, no banter, no back talk, no questions, no comments just silence, the way I liked it. Sam softly helped me up, and I let him lean me against him as we walked quietly back to the motel, Dean was nowhere to be found, how typical, selfish prick. My stomach ached and my throat burned I turned my head away from Sam and spit, then dug into my pocket for a stick of gum, my old go to. I knew what I had done just now, I took the equivalent of a relapse hit and I would be hooked again, I knew that this meant back to the days of me and the porcelain bus as buddies for life, and I was ashamed mostly, but at the same time relived to have it as a crutch again, as an outlet for my emotion for my need for order and control. Sam did not say anything he simply sat me down at his bed brought me a glass of water and sat back down at the table by his computer, he just knew that now wasn't the time for anything, but silence.

The clock read 4:03 am my stomach lurched in hunger pain, maybe if I just ate something one little thing, I could just keep things the way they were, and quell the hunger pains and find sleep again. I looked around the room, Sam had taken the couch and for once seemed to be sleeping quite deeply and Dean had returned and was passed out face down in his pillow, typical, self-absorbed ass. I quietly stepped out of my bed and padded towards the door. I slipped a keycard off the table, and slipped out of the room as quietly as possible heading for the vending machine. The cold air woke me up and the bright flashing lights of the vending machine seemed to taunt me. I punched in A-3 watching a Mounds bar slowly descend into the hatch. I quickly grabbed it out and tore open the wrapper. I was starving, as I bit into the candy bar, the familiar taste brought me back, to Halloween. Griffith and I always had joint costumes from Buzz light year and woody, I was buzz comical I know, to Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, we really were inseparable, it hurt, everything hurt again, I was so raw from Faith, I just couldn't control things anymore I needed my outlet and all of sudden I just wanted the candy bar out. It wasn't just about the origins of the disease anymore, that when I looked in the mirror I still saw that chubby eleven year girl that was tormented, it was also about that I needed a way to channel the pain, to bury my feelings to walk on like I was fine. I fast walked back to our room and quietly slipped inside and into the bathroom softly shutting the door.

As always I leaned my body over the white hard safety net I had chosen for years, and expertly inserted my fingers into my throat gagging multiple times, until I heard a pop and felt a pain and a lurch as the candy bar I just ingested finally came up, but then there was another sound, one that never belonged in this scene, the creak of the bathroom door. I instantly spun around trying to close it, never wanting to be caught in the act, but the body was already half way in the door and I was too weak. Instead I resumed my position on the floor and cast my eyes towards the floor expecting a scolding from Sam.

"Jesus, you really are just as screwed up as Sam and I." Dean what the hell, embarrassment and rage swelled within me as my eyes met his, he was hovering over me with some strange pained look in his eyes.

"What's it to you, just get out ok."

"Come on you've emptied your system for the night lets go to bed and make sure to pop a mint first." He barked like a military officer, what the hell, I did not need this from him of all people.

"I'm not going anywhere with you and this is none of your business."

"The hell it isn't you are apart of our hunt and I can't have any of this bull-shit happening its not healthy, you need some tough love enough is enough." What the hell.

"Screw you, you insensitive prick."

"Yell at me all you want princess, get it all out."

"You disgust me."

"Good the feeling is mutual, now enough get back in bed, don't make me carry you."

"Stay away from me." I bit out seething and ready to burst from everything I had held inside.

"Alright you pick the hard way as usual, figures." And when he came towards me instinctively I punched him right in the gut. He doubled over and glared at me.

"Alright that's how you wanna do this fine!" He yelled his eyes blazing and his voice strained, and then for the first time in his presence I cowered away in pure fear, flashbacks playing threw my mind of Bryson all of Bryson and I saw red. I just began flailing my fists at him while trying to scoot away everything was red I heard and saw nothing, I was panicking, I was lost, I was transported, I was with Bryson. Until finally I couldn't move my arms anymore because two strong calloused hands were clasping my wrists and the green eyes that normally looked at me hardly were looking at me softly with concern and worry. And then I felt it, for the first time since I could remember I could feel my face soaked in tears, my eyes felt puffy and swollen, I had cried and I didn't even know that I had started. I didn't speak I just let out a strangled labored breath. Dean didn't speak either as he slowly cradled my limp body in his arms and lifted me off the ground, and I couldn't fight I was half in shock half still in a daze. I just let him carry me silently and smoothly to the bed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam looking on full of worry and concern and I saw Dean motion something to him before Sam walked out the door quietly. Dean looked at me and simply muttered.

"You're ok, you are ok." And then everything went blue.

Empty, that's what the musty old hotel room was when I awoke and the past day's events came rushing back to me in an emotional slideshow I wished I could just forget or erase. At least I was alone with my shame. The last thing I wanted was the Winchesters to see everything I was, to know my past, to know me, and now because of Faith, the name even felt filthy in my mind, they knew enough to piece together everything, all my demons, all my skeletons, all my personal haunts. I sat up, cradling my face in my hands dejectedly. I just was at a loss, I couldn't continue on like this rough and tumble chick with not a concern in the world now, they knew all my weakness, what plagued me, what followed me around, and I would have to answer to them…not if I left though. And then there it was like always, the option of cutting out. So without another thought, I quickly gathered up my few belongings shoved them into my beat up duffel, and raced to throw my shoes and a sweatshirt on, a shower could wait. Did I need to leave a note? No, notes weren't my thing I just wanted a clean break, like all the times before, and I needed to go now or I would miss my window, if they came back to soon. I grabbed my keys and scooted out the door of the motel to my car without a backwards glance.

The bright lights of the gas station were giving me a migraine, I needed to take a rest, I had driven aimlessly down the highway for hours now, where I was going was undecided. I removed the nozzle of the pump from my tank easily, while realizing where I should be headed next for answers…Faith's hometown. Faith claimed to hail from Maine, which checked out because my brother and I had gone with her to Maine to meet her entire family, hence either they knew something or nothing and Faith was still there keeping up some sort of farce, either way though I could find answers in Maine. Thankfully, I was able to quickly block Sam and Dean's numbers so I had not heard from them directly per say, however several other private callers had been piercing through my atmosphere through the stupid cellular device, which I was assuming was Dean and Sam's other cells once they caught wind of the fact that I blocked the numbers they had given me. Another unknown caller pierced the silence and lit up my cell's screen, I chucked the phone into the well of the passenger seat as I climbed back into the car, I never wanted to interact with the Winchesters again, in part out of shame as well as disdain …at least that's what I liked to think of it as, even though this small part of me felt this strange attachment and connection, I never wanted to acknowledge or develop. People, when it came to my life, were meant to be kept at an arm's length, I couldn't ever walk around with close deep seated bonds it got me nowhere. Hmm 45 voicemails though was a hell of a lot maybe I should listen to at least one, so as I drove on I hit the speaker button on my visual voicemail and played the most recent one.

"Hello there dearie. Remember me? Its Crowley, now I would not want to harm a hair on that pretty little head of yours, but you appear to be causing quite the stir down here, and well I've found that you are quite integral to my endeavors. In any case either you come about to where we had our last little chat in two days time, before dawn on the second day to be technical about it, or my friends will personally come and escort you there. The choice is yours, oh and say hello to the boys now would you, send them my kindest regards." Mother shitting hell, great just great! I haphazardly pulled to the side of the highway and banged my head against the steering wheel, this demon-bounty was ruining me. This just could not get any worse….I needed back up…experienced back up….and that would be Buffy and Van Helsing, screw me, this is just great, freaking sunshine and rainbows. They were going to murder me for disappearing…and I did not want to deal with them, but a demon bounty, Crowley's men…how was I going to be able to handle that, and I doubt I could outrun it. I sighed heavily and dialed Sam's number reluctantly and a bit nervously.

"Caroline! Where are you!? Are you in danger!? Did you run off again! We talked about this, Demon bounties are no joke, you can't just go gallivanting around as you please!" Then all of sudden before I could speak I heard shuffling, a shout, and some sort of aggressive movement.

"You better give me your damn coordinates right now, either way, I'm tracking your damn phone, I'm coming to haul your ass back with us whether you like it or not! You better stow your crap away and cooperate, you have no idea what this has felt like where the hell are you?!" Dean was barking at me not just angrily, but emotionally he wasn't just mad he was concerned.

"I'm on the side of a highway." I mumbled dejectedly.

"Give me the damn coordinates and sit tight." So I quickly spit them out, Griffith taught me that type of stuff a while ago when he first joined the service, in case I was ever in a jam. After I replied, Dean abruptly hung up, but not before I could hear in the background the rev of the Impala's engine and its tires screeching out of some motel parking lot I assumed. Well I mind as well demon-proof the car while I wait, don't need to be abducted while waiting for the goon squad. So I pulled out my black can of spray paint and started drawing any type of warding symbol I could think of all over my car windows, at least it would pass the time and give me some piece of mind, then I locked the doors, just for shits, knowing the stupid car lock would offer no protection against what was coming for me. Even though Crowley had given me a deal there would be demons searching high and low to bring me in and receive praise from the King of Hell, Crowley wanted me for whatever reason, and it really did not matter how he got me, making it a demon hunt free for all, just dandy! Finally I laid down in the well of my SUVS second row of seats, it was damn uncomfortable, but I was better off being concealed in anyway possible.

My screwed up and morbid thoughts were interrupted by a pound on my passenger window and Deans gruff voice.

"Caroline I swear to god you better be somewhere in this damn car!" I quickly jumped to my feet and of course crashed my head into the ceiling of my car, shit! I felt woozy, and I tried to reach for the handle of the door, but Dean had already picked the lock and swung it open.

"You goddamn stubborn, idiotic, pain in the ass klutz, come here." He roughly dragged me out the vehicle and leaned me against him, brushing back my hair from my forehead, examining where I bumped my head.

"You ok, coherent, know your name, birthdate, parents, the basics?!" He inquired a bit aggressively.

"Yeah, yeah caveman I know who I am, could you tone it down though I'm kind of in pain here."

"Who the hell are you calling a caveman?! Oh never mind forget it you priss, Sam, here are her keys follow me alright." Dean said to Sam who had been on the other side of the car.

"Sure thing, good to have you back Caroline." Sam called out gently to me, I shrugged.

"I have no other choice, Crowley is coming for me in two days, I needed back up."

"What?!" Sam asked incredulously.

"She'll fill us in back at the hotel, its much safer there, just drive Sam, I got the Diva for now."

"I'm no diva ya big man-baby-child."

"Wow, well at least that was original, come on Rocky, I think ya jumbled your noggin a bit in that rough fight with you car, it clearly beat you to a pulp."

"Shut up already you arrogant pig."

"Just get in the car, you are so difficult."

"I'm difficult, have you met yourself?!"I cried as Dean pushed me into the passenger seat aggressively.

"Would you be quiet for one damn moment, jesus!" Dean replied climbing into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

"Fine silence it is bonehead."

"Thank god." He muttered as we sped away in the Impala.

The three of us sat huddled around the off-kilter table in their motel room listening to Crowley's message playback.

"Son of a bitch." Dean remarked standing and gripping the back of his chair angrily, as Crowley's voice cut out. "We are about to have every demon in a 100 mile radius so far up our asses we will need a demon killing enema to freaking remove them!"

"Yeah we definitely have a slight issue here." Sam replied rubbing his temples in a distressed manner.

"A slight issue Sam…this ain't no slight issue.. .this is more like a slice of hell right in our backyard , that we are going to have to claw our way out of if we have any hope of freaking surviving, we need back up, more hunters, freaking call Bobby." Dean rambled off exasperatedly.

"I got it Dean." Sam said attentively, while rising to his feet and heading for the door of the motel room as he dialed Bobby's number I assumed. I sighed and leaned my head against the table dramatically, groaning. All of sudden I felt Dean punch me lightly in the arm, I growled, looked up and glared at him.

"That isn't funny."I bit out.

"Yeah well neither was you ruining off on me..I mean us like that."

"Why do you even care Dean, aren't I just a disturbance to your way of life or whatever?" I spat out bitterly, despising being someone's burden or problem.

"No, you're part of this now, Sam and I, at least for sometime, and we take care of our own, that's what we do."

"I'm not part of anything, and trust me you would not want me to be."

"You may be a pain in my ass, but you are a pretty solid hunter and you have a decent knowledge base, so you aren't slowing us down quite yet, except for when you pull your Houdini disappearing acts, so I would say we want ya around." He replied languidly.

"You should listen to Faith, I'm trouble, should have let me go when you had the chance."

"That Angel bitch, you want me to listen to her, yeah ok Caroline, lets start listening to Crowley's opinions about Sam and I as well while we are at it."

"Dean you just don't get it do you I'm walking menace, a broken mirror, bad freaking luck." Dean chuckled darkly.

"Sweetheart what do you think Sam and I are? But instead of throwing a little pity party we stow the sob story and we do our damn job, we make a difference in anyway we can, and I suggest you do the same." Dean replied in a stern and commanding manner.

"You have no idea the damn good I've done." I scoffed sarcastically thinking back to the blue van, cringing in mental agony.

"Sweetheart we all have got pasts you have to learn to live with it, stow it."

"the past…it isn't even past." I replied automatically quoting Faulkner without a second thought, because that was my life philosophy. The past lived, it walked with you, it was a shadow, a guider, an old friend, or sworn enemy…and whatever you deemed it, you could never shake it or kill it because it was a much you as your present self, never to be removed, stamped out, or misplaced; it was immutable. And maybe that's why so much haunted me because the past in my eyes was alive and I could not walk a single step without it.

"You have to let it go Faulkner." My eyes went wide…how did lug head over here know Faulkner.

"Don't give me that look, Sam loves to quote things and use big words…and be a big college man so here and there I have to do some reading to keep on top of his weird hobbies, which get mixed into our job." Dean replied gruffly immediately sensing my surprise.

"Nothing wrong with a little literature." I replied shrugging.

"You like that stuff?" Dean asked, not with attitude, but with some type of interest, and I felt compelled to be honest for once.

"It was my escape my whole life. Whenever things got tough…whenever I wanted to run, I got lost….in a library, a book store, whatever, any place I could get my hands on something, anything to read. I've read and reread most of the classics…Steinbeck is my favorite American author…I wanted to be a writer…that was my real dream…thing, whatever you call it, I don't know, that's gone now though, just an old memory." I spilled out rambling all over the gamete like an old geezer spilling their life story to anyone who would listen.

"Why is it gone?" Dean asked softly turning to face me in his chair and placing a large hand on my knee firmly.

"Because I'm not a child anymore. Those were the dreams of a little girl, and that girl well she's changed and she has other responsibilities to face and bear. Everyone has to face the music…when they tell you, you can do and be whatever you desire they forget to tell you that, that all changes when life happens and reality sets in and plays its role." I replied cynically.

"Yeah reality does change things, can't always have the apple pie life we dreamed up in our heads at eight, but it's good to have passions…Sam has them, hell sometimes I even have them."

"Ok Dean, then what are yours?" I inquired sarcastically.

"Besides beautiful women and quality alcoholic beverages." He quipped comically while winking at me.

"Yeah besides those great love affairs." I chided sarcastically with a small chuckle. And then I felt Dean shift a bit, his face grew harder, but there was a hint of resilience there.

"Honestly one would have to be cars, something about being under a hood, it just makes everything else fade into the background, it's an escape much like yours probably. And I guess the other would be hunting."

"Why would hunting be your passion." I bit out.

"I've never known anything else Caroline. This is the way I know to change things, to make the world somewhat better, to sift through all the crap out there, and trust me there's a god damn lot, and find that bit of light even if its just for that one moment until another monster or apocalypse comes along. Cause hell knows that stuff ain't stopping anytime soon and either way some poor bastard has got to handle it and I guess I'm that poor bastard." It made sense and resonated with me and I nodded in approval.

"Alright well I need a drink doll face, don't wait up." He rose to his feet getting ready to turn on his heel, when I instinctively did something I never did, I hooked my small fingers into his pulling him lightly back towards me. He narrowed his eyes at me and cocked his head to the side.

"Your touching me…are you ill?" He asked sarcastically feeling my forehead.

"No you goon I'm fine…I just…Well Sam's gone…and I…." I trailed off not wanting to appear weak, but also nursing a growing fear of Crowley, my last encounter with him was far from pleasant.

"You don't want to be alone." He finished easily. "Alright, but I better not be Sam's substitute cause I'm not ok with that." He said smiling kneeling down in front of me and scooting his large frame in between my legs. He was close to me now his head at my level. I could smell firewood, and mints and for once I easily just smiled at him and leaned my head against his muscular shoulder and breathed deeply. He then brushed his finger along the side of my head and brushed back my hair behind my ears gently. Finally he dragged the tip of his finger down to my chin and softly pushed my head up and my eyes met his. And then with all the ease and time in the world his face got closer and closer to mine, and he softly kissed my nose, my forehead, my cheekbones, and my eyelids. Then he pulled back again and cupped my face softly while leaning his forehead against mine. He closed his eyes for a moment and we just sat our foreheads connected both breathing hardly like we had run some marathon. Until finally he pushed forward just an inch, and set my whole body on fire with some sort of electrical storm of nerves and butterflies, as he kissed me for the first time, but before he even could wrap his arm around the small of my back I heard the motel lock jingle, Sam. I panicked and shoved him off of me, running into the bathroom, locking the door, and switching on the shower for good measure, but not before I heard Dean call out my name. Finally I shakily slid to the floor my body tingling with things I could not identify, some old some new, all things I never wanted to harbor, feel, or deal with all things I saw as a problem. I had to scrub it away and purge myself of it, I had to, but in the back of my mind I knew I would be addicted to the high, the emotion, the safety, the craziness of that kiss, and if I didn't ditch the boys soon, I would go back for more.


	5. Chapter 5- A Toast to the Worst

I tucked my honey blonde strands of wavy disheveled hair behind my ears as Sam rattled off a list of supplies to me that I quickly jotted down on a scrap of paper. Sure I could use my phone, but I was never one for electronics over the old paper and pen, I despised e-books and much preferred running my fingers over pages then scrolling my fingers across a touchpad or mouse, so I guess that translated to my note taking preferences or whatever. Meredith always chided me about it calling me an old geiser who needed to enter the 21st century and some other nonsense she seemed to find important about me not constantly utilizing modern technology.

"Where is Dean? This is really getting ridiculous now, I know he likes to go on his little staycations to the bars and cruise through a few select specimens of the female gender, but he cannot just think in the middle of this he can disappear for two days with merely a phone call here and there. No hunter needs that much time to get his head together…" Sam trailed off clearly frustrated. Yup, Dean had been gone two days, conveniently right after my little slip up, which was strictly us being caught up in the moment, I was shaken up, we both were exhausted, it was just a collision of stress, nerves, and fatigue, nothing more. I don't understand why the moron had to disappear for two days, he was going to make this more awkward then it had to be. I just wanted to chalk it up to nerves and never speak of it again, move on get back to the job, and saving my bacon, so I could refocus on looking for Griffith and Faith.

"Look Sam I really think we should rethink this bring the fight to Crowley Scheme and reconsider my bait idea." I pushed confidently, wanting to move off the topic of Dean, Sam had no idea about our little indiscretion, but still I did not want to give him any reason to suspect anything he did not need to. He already seemed to think Dean took some strange interest in me, however, he was mistaking interest for the fact that Dean was just bored and always searching for his next fix and hey I was convenient and vulnerable, so like the low life he is he figured, why not try his luck, I guess I couldn't blame him, I was being pretty lame acting all damsel and distress who couldn't be alone and shit.

"Caroline for the final time no you aren't going to be bait."

"Personally I think me as bait with the added bonus of a hunter coup d'etat to Crowley's reign would be quite effective."

"It would be expected, don't forget that Crowley's knows we have been working together and will not expect us to just let you show up there alone, that's not exactly Dean and I's MO."

"Then maybe you should do just that". I said suddenly having a more concrete idea that might just be crazy enough to work.

"What are you saying?" Sam looked at me hardly, the disapproval already pulsating off of him.

"I'm saying let me show up alone and at least for a time play along with his little game, do what he least expects." I challenged Sam with my words, knowing he wouldn't like the idea, but also knowing the element of them prepping for an expectation that would not come to pass, could give us an edge.

"Its not merely a game with Crowley Caroline, nothing ever is." Sam wove harshly.

"I know that, but he needs me alive, and I can take what he dishes out, he'll keep me alive, he knows enough about the constraints of the prophesy. I'm a high price good at the auction, I highly doubt he'll just dispose of that type of leverage."

"You're not a commodity. And then what happens where do we even go from you being abducted by the King of Hell."

"Well clearly I'll be searched and sniffed and some other crazy crap, but I had some drastic measures in mind. There are GPS chips that can be planted just beneath the skin, we etch a little demon warding on it and some other crap, get some Doc you know to open me up preferably my stomach or somewhere were there's some meat, throw it in there and patch me back up. Then you geniuses can track me, I can do some inside investigation for a few days, and then you show up ambushing the location with the complete element of surprise. We get information, an edge, and the priceless look on that fire pansy's face when we have him surrounded with no knowledge of it coming or our next move." I finished clasping my hands together smirking, proud of my slightly crazy genius.

"Well great, another suicide mission. If we are even going to consider this, we need a way to convince Crowley that Dean and I are not coming for you, it has to be real and convincing or he will just expect our arrival at some point."

"Betrayal." I shot simply. "Look I'm sure were being watched to a degree and our activities are somewhat known, so if I act as if I have turned against you guys, and was simply using you to get some piece of information and then screw you over, heading to Crowley because I'm all high and mighty and think I have the leverage to find my brother on my own, Crowley just might believe it. And if he truly believes I purposely screwed you guys he knows you wont come looking for me. However, we need to make sure this little play is visible to some higher up Demon though so Crowley considers it reliable Intel." I stated like this was all going to be some stroll through the park.

"Ok." Sam sighed heavily dropping his face in his hands.

"Ok, you're not going to fight me on this?" I drawled slowly and sarcastically.

"We don't have a lot of other options Caroline, and I would rather not pull this stunt, but it might be insane enough to be effective. However, I do have a suggestion." He replied slowly, shifting his stance a bit looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"Well out with it then Buffy, we aint got all day here." I chided trying to get him to share whatever this suggestion was.

"I think you should be attached to one of us."

"Attached? What do you mean by attached?"

"Uh well romantically, that'll make the betrayal even worse more reason for us to not come after you. Dean and I, we do not really do relationships, but if one of us were to throw that philosophy out and be with another hunter it would suggest some real deep feelings, and if that person claimed to have none for us and was just working an angle, well that's just screwed up, pride and resentment would also keep us from coming for you." Well isn't this just getting better and better for me.

"Seriously, you have got to be kidding me, how are we even going to get them to think it's a real relationship, we only have a few weeks to pull this crap off."

"That's all we need. We bag, a live of course, a highly ranked demon keep him as a captive say were going to use him or her as leverage with Crowley. Let the demon witness, the uhm attachment, relation, relationship or whatever along with the entire betrayal and you let him free in the midst of it and then accompany him to Crowley. I think that just may be pretty damn believable."

"Good, god of course this royally sucks for me, it always does. Which one of you boneheads do I have to be attached to, to use your socially awkward speak."

"I think it should be me, Crowley won't believe Dean as easily. I have always wanted a life outside of hunting, it was never my life or passion like it is Dean's. Sure Dean always talks about a normal apple pie life, but he would always sacrifice his own for mine if he could. I have tried to get out a few times and I was out for a long time and with a girl…so I think Crowley might just believe that I could have fell for you manipulation and what not. I mean you are gorgeous, with a chick like you around most guys are likely to be goners".

"Ok Sam sure" I snorted laughing a bit at his ridiculous compliment, he was probably just trying to bolster my confidence in our plan and the part I would need to play, but then I thought back to what he said and I was intrigued. "Sam where's the girl now?" I inquired softly, reaching out my hand to graze his comfortingly. Sam's gaze grew dark, and his eyes squinted and hardened, maybe this was a bad question, but I couldn't help waiting for the answer rather than backing off, I wanted to know the answer, to know if all people whose life was wrapped up in the hunt were subjugated to the same fate.

"She was murdered by the demon that murdered Dean and I's mother…it was a long, long time ago, I, its how I started hunting again, and I guess after that I never really fully got out again. There were other girls here and there, minor attachments, but she was always the girl, Jessica was my normalcy." He skimmed along the words lightly kind of aimlessly meandering about. Jessica, I always liked that name it was simple, elegant, and innocent. I shot him a look of sympathy knowing all too well what it was like to loose normalcy along with the other half of you I had quite literally lost my other half, with my twin gone, of course Sam's was a romantic attachment, but mine was just as much a part of me, being that it was my twin.

"I'm sorry Sam, I had no idea. Hunting, I don't know, all this crap that goes bump in the night tends to just take things, takes what it wants, or leaves wreckage it may have intended or not intended without even a backwards glance. Its bad stuff, but there has got to be something at the end of all the bad, there has to be some semblance of a future that's better than this crap." I sighed running a hand throw my unkempt waves once again, feeling the grease and frizz, signaling it definitely needed a good long soak in the shower.

"I know, hunting, it's always been the same for me. I never really knew my mother, but Dean did and I know somewhere deep down in that cold guarded place where all those emotions rest, he wishes he did not have to grow up without her. And sometimes I wonder if he blames me for it, for her being gone, if maybe Jessica is my penance from robbing my family of my mom." Sam spoke softly, and instantly I felt the need to protect him, I did not know the exact details of the death of their mother, but I did know Sam was merely an infant when it happened there was no way he could hold any responsibility in his mind for that. I reached for his hand and grasped it tightly in mine.

"Sam, Dean is a lot of things, he's stubborn, hot-headed, hard to talk to, and sometimes appears a bit void of emotion, but I know he in no way blames you for your mom, and would not trade you for the world, you're the Bonnie to his Clyde, I know he would not want it any other way, he just has zero idea how to express himself, except through drinking, violence, and sex with random women." Sam chuckled and gripped my hand tighter, silently thanking me, when Dean finally sauntered through the motel door.

"Oh whoa, I am interrupting the feelings circle over here, oh wait anyone need a talking stick we can use my empty bottle of Jack." Dean rattled off clearly intoxicated, while slipping out of his back pocket a very empty bottle of Jack Daniels and then waving it about in our faces. Sam instantly stood up.

"Dean what the hell, we have real problems and you are plastered!" Sam cried incredulously.

"I am not plastered princess, just got a little buzz to take off the edge of the situation we have unfolding here."

"A little buzzed, Dean you reek of about twelve different kinds of alcohol and gross bar food, oh and wait, what a surprise cheap perfume. And how many hickeys do you have on your neck, is that a lipstick mark….on your ear, seriously Dean, pull it together."

"What can I say women flock to me. Also if you want to see some more hickeys I can play show and tell, they are just in some more discrete places."

"Good, god no Dean just cut it out! Go take a shower and sober up Jesus."

"Yeah ok mommy, I'll be out in a bit." He replied swaying into the bathroom, he had not even acknowledged me.

"I have no idea what's up with him, but now is not the time to work out weird emotional baggage, he always is telling everyone to stow it, well right about now he needs to stow it." Sam quipped clearly aggravated. I sighed and resigned myself to a quick cat nap, so I could then shower when Dean stopped drunkenly hogging the bathroom, and start digging up some research on Crowley's right hand men or should I say Demons with Sam.

…

"No." Dean shouted firmly pounding both of his hands on the table in the corner of the motel room, while leaning right up into Sam and I's faces as we barely finished recounting our plan to him. The vein on his neck was straining out and his eyes were darkening with anger.

"Well too bad it's two against one, Sam and I agree upon it, majority wins." I challenged crossing my hands over my chest defiantly while standing and getting right back up in his face, but he did not take a step back, as I expected.

"This is not a democracy Fido, there is no majority rules here." He challenged me, getting closer up in my space, trying to intimidate me, bringing out the full girth of his shoulders and sneering down at me.

"And you are not the dictator or the leader Van-Helsing, so step down." I bit back.

"I will not take orders from a bony amateur with an attitude problem."

"I am not an amateur, you arrogant, stubborn, hot-headed asshat." I cried, poking him firmly with my index finger, while propping my other hand firmly on my hip, the electricity was rolling off of him, some type of tension or spark, had to be from the anger, from the challenge of it all, no one ever challenged his stupid unfounded authority, well hah I was and would continue to.

"Or you'll do what Fido, poke me again? You are all bark no bite." He spat with malice, what the hell was his issue.

"Enough!" Sam shouted stepping firmly in between the two of us his height bringing a semblance of balance into our verbal sparring, that might have just turned physical, if I had the chance I was about to flip the jackass on his back.

"We need to get a grip, and Dean you need to cool it and actually just consider the plan rationally, you have come up with quite a few suicide missions, you just are upset you aren't bait this time."

"This is not a rational plan Sam, don't you see that. Sending an amateur chick into the ring with the king of hell, why don't we throw a bunny to a lion while we are at it and see how that goes?"

"I am not an amateur, and me being a chick, so help me god, has nothing to do with anything you sexist chauvinist, and do not compare me to some god damn likeness of the Easter bunny or peter cotton tail hopping down the friggin bunny trail, my life has never looked like any god damn bunny trail since Griffith disappeared, I can handle Crowley, it isn't the first time." I bit out and in anger of course I revealed the dealings I did not want or need these morons to know about or share in….balls.

"What?! When did you tango with Crowley, why and how, you make a deal, you that stupid!" Dean shouted at me roughly pushing Sam to the side who scoffed at him angrily also trying to get to me and question me.

"My past dealings with Crowley are none of your damn business, and you two have made plenty of deals in your lifetime, so I would pipe down."

"Oh see that's where you're wrong we do need to know about your little rendezvous with the big man downstairs because it will affect the way this game plays out sweetheart, and you will tell us, so make it easy on everyone and just spill now."

"What are you, interrogating me now, oh I'm so scared big bad Dean is going to force the truth out of me, fat chance go screw yourself, wanna be James Dean, James Bond, asshole." I trailed off sarcasm and anger lacing every syllable.

"Sorry Sam I know you wanted me to play a different way, but she's done now." What the hell was this stupid gorilla talking about now, and suddenly like always I was being man handled by Dean, what the actual hell. So with no regrets or remorse I took the simplest course of action and kneed him square in the family jewels and then placed my knee in between his shoulder blades to keep him on the ground, after he had landed flat on his stomach from the pain and shock.

"Try that again, and you won't be able to make use of your equipment again." I thought Sam would be angry, but when I turned to look at him he was stifling a chuckle in the corner and shaking his head, like he knew Dean and I had to work out our own power dynamics.

"God dammnt, you little stuck up, prissy, diva!" Dean roared clearly in pain still, hah serves him right.

"You were about to hold me captive over my own private information." I spat at him.

"I never would have actually harmed you, you pain in the ass!" He groaned, and I smirked, still pressing all my weight down on him through my knee.

"Get the hell off of me already, Caroline, fine you don't wanna talk about Crowley don't, but I really suggest you do, because it could be important to how the meeting goes and how things will turn out. It could help all of us, but if you wanna chance everyone's asses on your own pride then you do that princess." He lectured me sternly and condescendingly and I retracted my knee sighing knowing he had a point. But I, I could not relive that time in my life it was so low, so wretched, so screwed up, and I could feel the bile and memories rising up in my throat.

"I need to get a drink, I'll be back before tomorrow, just let me go." I spoke softly, my eyes pleading with Sam.

"As long as you swear no Houdini shit, you can go." Sam replied, he knew something was up, that my dealings with Crowley held a lot of shit, and that was I battling some internal crap, and that if I ever was going to give them any information about my past I needed space to work it out, Sam was intuitive in that sense, Dean not so much.

"No she isn't going anywhere Sam, we've wasted enough time on search and rescue with this brat. So she is going to sit tight, and in our sights." Dean barked angrily, Jesus before we seemed to at least be friends, but now I felt like, I don't know the dipshit despised me or something, his eyes were blazing.

"Dean what is your issue!?" I cried incredulously. "If we are going to be any kind of team you have to find some trust and some respect for me which you seem to have none of!"

"Don't talk to me about respect Fido, you do not know the first thing about respect or honesty! You too Sam, what were you just going to hide your weird ass relationship from me forever, like you did with Ruby, we walking down that road again Sam!" Dean shot out hardly, and my mouth dropped, Sam and I, relationship, what a joke, is he out of his mind.

"What are you talking about Dean!?, Caroline and I are friends Dean, nothing more, you do know you can be just friends with a girl right." He said looking at Dean pointedly, with a strange expression, and a hint of humor to his tone.

"You two sissys have been condoling with each other for days now clearly something is friggin up, and everyone needs to be aware of shit in this group or things could go bad real fast, with demons and angels and the rest of the crew that lives under the bed exploiting stuff like that." Dean stated exasperatedly throwing his hands up.

"We have not been condoling Dean! You disappeared for days, we had to come up with a plan, we've been planning and yeah maybe we bonded a bit, but as friends, if you wanted to bond too numnuts you should of stuck around." I said crossing my arms over my chest and kicking back the heel of my boot, Sam chuckled.

"Ew no bonding not my thing, no thanks carebears. Come on Caroline, lets go get you that drink, that's more my language."

" I wanted to be alone Dean, that was kind of the point." I responded back harshly.

" Well I guess that's too bad for you, if someone is having a cold one I'm coming like it or not." He teased, his mood springing in another direction rather quickly, while dangling his keys out of his pocket and shaking them at me like some cattle bell.

"I am not cattle Dean I do not respond and come to sounds, jackass."

"Sure, sure." He replied sarcastically as he tried to lead me out and I elbowed him hard in the rib cage.

"Wow, Fido I think you're getting a bit stronger that was more like getting hit by a pillow than a feather." He laughed, and I sighed angrily stomping ahead of him like always as his languid heavy footsteps followed.

….

"Dean seriously what was that back there, what's your issue?" I asked frustrated while spinning my empty shot glass of tequila around on the sticky bar of the local dive we found a few miles from the hotel.

"No issue, I just need to be in the loop, Sam has hid stuff from me before and it has never ended up well." Dean replied gruffly, taking a swig of his beer easily.

"Well you did not need to be all fired up like that a simple inquiry would have done."

"Once again Sam, has lied to me on multiple occasions, and you well I really can't say I can trust your word face value, we haven't been buddies for that long sweetheart."

"Well Dean, you are going to need to in your own words, stow that, because if you don't trust me this whole ship will sink and fast."

"I trust your abilities as a hunter, that's enough." He replied sharply.

"No that's not enough, Dean, in these kill or be killed scenarios I need to know you have my back and you need to know that I have yours because we are on the same team, the same side, even when things go bad, that's the only way this works."

"Do you have my back, Fido?" He asked simply, no sarcasm or hidden meaning lacing his words.

"Yeah I do, Sam's as well."

"Well I know Sam has yours and I don't turn on other hunters, so its safe to say I have yours too."

"Even in worst case scenario?" I inquired.

"Even when the gates of hell burst wide open, and angels rain from the sky."

"Fair enough, I think that deserves a toast." I drawled raising my now full shot glass in the air. Dean laughed clinking his beer bottle with my glass lightly.

"To the worst." He stated confidently before taking another sip of his beer, and as his words settled and I threw back my fifth shot of the evening, I began to feel some type of foreboding aura following me signaling the nature of the events we were all about to face together and apart.


	6. Chapter 6- Freedom From the Human Trap

Chapter 6- Freedom From the Human Trap

"Look, you do not have to tell us everything, but we do need you to shed some light on what that angel said so we at least know what's true what's distorted and or false, as well as your dealings with Crowley." Sam stated gently as him, Dean, and I lounged around the motel room. I was still a little buzzed from the drinks Dean and I got so I was a bit looser, a bit less guarded, so telling them something, parts of the truth, would not be as painful.

"Yeah I know, I'll give you the highlights how does that sound." I replied trying to lighten the mood a bit and draw the focus away from how screwed up I actually was.

"Good enough." Dean shot quickly, looking towards me expectantly. I looked down at my hands as I tired to find my voice and allow myself to go back to those places, those moments I had been trying to leave in the past for years now.

"When I was eighteen Griffith brought home Faith from college. We were both a few semesters away from graduation, but it was already decided that after graduation I would go on to enter law school and he would be entering the military as an officer. He had this inherent sense of duty, its something he always believed he needed to do as a citizen and as a person. Him and Faith had been together about a year by then and he felt pretty serious about her and knew he would have to leave her to do his training and tours, so naturally he wanted her to get accustom to us and become like part of the family, so she could come to us and have a place to go while he was away. I was young and naïve at the time, a lot different from the person I am now. I loved Faith on sight, she was everything I felt I was not and aspired to be confident, blaze, beautiful, charming and intelligent. She took me under her wing and when Griffith left she was his stand in, and we became like sisters. Faith saved my life, on multiple occasions." I paused for a sad shaky breath and felt Sam come and sit beside me in support.

"You alright, I know this is probably not the easiest thing for you." He stated calmly.

"Yeah just the faster its over, the better, you guys have to know at this point I don't have much of a choice if I want our plan to work."

"I agree." Sam replied easily, nodding at me to continue. I picked at my nails roughly not wanting to look anyone in the eye as I began to speak again.

"While Griffith was gone I guess I fell off the straight and narrow. I was attending Columbia Law and was still dating my college boyfriend Bryson. Bryson had this hold on me I can never fully explain to you, he was bright and manipulative and over the years he made me feel like I needed him, like I was not enough separate from him and I just wanted the security of his presence having been dumped in high school by someone I thought I loved, like the moron I was. I somehow knew Bryson would never leave me, so even though I wasn't in love with him, I stayed, I settled, I chose security I guess and he was a crutch for me. However, stuff got really, well, bad my first year of Law School. Bryson had always been borderline verbally abusive, which he blamed on PTSD due to his biological parents abusing him as a child. That year though I don't know, it was like a switch flipped, it stared when he threw me down a cement staircase in my dorm one night while we were fighting and it got so bad that he trapped me in his room one night threatening to kill me while I hysterically screamed and cried. Thankfully his roommate called the Police as he overheard what he was happening from outside the door when he returned that evening. The police chalked it up to a domestic dispute, and really did not conduct any further investigation, nor did I prompt any. For a while I, well I did not tell anyone, I just stayed with him taking the abuse, partially because I was afraid to leave him, as well as that I was embarrassed by the whole situation, but most of all I felt guilty. He always threatened to kill himself the few times I tried to break up with him and or blamed his issues on his horrible childhood, hence I felt this heavy obligation to him, like his well being rested on my actions, as well as that perhaps I deserved the abuse, that I was atoning for some of my choices and actions, a type of penance, and that it was the only kind of treatment I was good enough for. Either way though, I was too weak to leave until Faith found the bruises all over my stomach over that Christmas break and forced the truth out of me. From then on she became like my guardian, she helped me leave Bryson for good and file a restraining order against him, she also helped me to overcome my anorexic and bulimic tendencies I had harbored since middle school, which probably contributed to why I remained with Bryson as well, I was insecure, broken, damaged goods, who else would ever want me. And for a while things were great Faith was my best friend she saved me, from all those issues, until the summer of that year when Griffith disappeared in Afghanistan and she recounted the prophesy to us. So everything she said about me….well, yeah…its true." I felt numb, I had rehashed so much, reopened so many gashes, I felt like my soul was on display gushing blood, and I hung my head dejectedly knowing I still had to fill in the gaps in with Crowley, but the blue van, Tristan, that was something I would not recount, that was something, no one needed to know. Sam clasped a large hand on my shoulder.

"You can tell us the rest in the morning, that's not a huge issue, if it's too much right now." I knew Sam could sense my fear and torment, but I would rather just finish; rip it off fast like a Band-Aid.

"No its ok, just, its easier to finish now. I've met with Crowley twice. Once in regards to a deal my mother made and the other for a deal I attempted to make. One was shortly after Griffith disappeared, which was my own, it was when I first learned about crossroad demons, I was trying to atone for something I had done when I was a teen, right a wrong, but in the end my mother found me just in time and stopped the whole process, and it was then that I stopped seeing her as my protector and friend I think. I was trying to cast out the darkness to make things ok again and she just took charge like always, never letting me decide anything for myself. So to answer your question, no I have never made a deal with Crowley, but I came pretty close. The second time I met with him I tried to change the deal my mother made. Her deal was any information Crowley had and or gained on Griffith or the prophecy he relayed to my mother, all she had to give was her soul. It wasn't a typical soul exchange, however, there was no grace period or end of my mothers existence up here at least for the time being. Crowley somehow separated her soul from her body, so she remained her, alive and well physically so she could endlessly search for Griffith, but she was without a soul. And I, I just, I could not handle that, my mother soulless, she wasn't, she isn't my mother anymore, honestly I don't know who she is, she only focuses on the task, the woman I knew is not there anymore only fragments and pieces, she barely remembers raising my siblings and I now. I wanted to trade my soul for hers, my mother has other obligations, duties, my family needs her, but me I could be the soulless one with a sole purpose, finding my twin, he is my twin after all. I really had no strings and or importance, I would not be as missed, but Crowley he wouldn't have it, souls are not up for exchange I guess. So I met with Crowley twice, once hoping to make a deal, the other hoping to alter one and I failed each time, so I guess that's pretty much all of it, unless you feel you need to know something else, but I really don't have much else to tell." I finished dejectedly.

"Jesus." Dean whispered.

"Yeah my existence is pretty pitiful, I realize that, just, look I'm not some piece of china you have to be afraid of chipping. I'm already chipped and I've been broken apart too many times to count, but each time I've found my pieces and glued myself back together and right now I really am fine. I was really screwed up the other day because it's the first time I've seen Faith in seven years, it shook me up, but I've got it together now really. I've spent along time getting over all this shit, I have to if I want to find Griffith, and that's really my only purpose. So I promise you I have stowed this shit. I'm together and can handle this, I know what's at stake." I did not what my dismal story and existence to make them doubt me. I may be damaged goods, but I was resilient and tough, I spent the better half of my years without Griffith growing another layer of skin and I could handle this, I was ready to walk into the fire, my past was with me, but I knew I could take what was to come.

"We've all got dark crap kid, its what makes us hunters. That dark stuff is what makes all of us one and the same, sunshine and rainbows don't normally come with the territory, so if you say you have it together we believe you." Dean replied easily and I appreciated his lack of judgment for once as well as expression of trust. Sam nodded in agreement patting me on the back like you would a teammate after a tough game. And for once I genuinely smiled at both of them.

"So we all in."

"You got it Fido." Dean quipped.

"Well get everything in order in the morning, start making preparations and taking steps." Sam stated, I was thankful they had just dropped my past so easily and did not make a show of pitying me and making me feel like a freak. I had a feeling they had some nasty shit in their past too and probably knew what I was feeling, so at least we had common ground there.

"Just one thing, Caroline." Sam added lightly, I pinched the skin at the top of my hand, while nodding my head, a bit nervous about this last inquiry.

"How much does Crowley know about your past and the people in it, just because he not only is the king of hell, but he is the king of manipulation and anything he has on you no matter how small, will be used against you." I sighed in slight relief, but also confusion in that I was not all that sure about what Crowley was aware of.

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not exactly sure, I mean I'm pretty positive him and Faith are not in cahoots or anything like that so he should not know about Bryson or any of that other mumbo jumbo, what he knows is the deal I tried to alter that my mom made and the one I attempted to make and what not.." I trailed off quietly, trying to get off the topic of my own deal, the information I just could not unwind, my mark, my private sin. The mark that I would forever be walking with and living with, but of course he spoke up, he never could leave well enough alone.

"Caroline, what was the deal?" Dean pressed, his eyes boring into my brain, trying to reach the depths of my conscience, behind the walls, behind the layers of sarcasm searching for answers for truth.

"I told you my mom her deal, I wanted to trade my soul for hers." I stated simply, trying desperately to evade the real question in anyway I could, even if I had to feign misunderstanding.

"Caroline you know that's not the deal I meant, your deal Caroline." He kept pressing, digging, he couldn't just stop, typical Dean. I felt my anger bubble up as a defense mechanism and all I wanted to do was run, to ditch, to quit, but I couldn't I was trapped. So I swallowed my rage and composed myself, knowing that my reaction would be key in this response it could make everything fall apart in an instant, I could not be angry.

"It was nothing important, I was young naïve, I thought, I thought that Crowley could bring Griffith back locate him, that was my attempted deal. I'd trade him for me, my mom stopped it, she caught wind of it somehow, she has some psycho sixth sense about that kind of stuff." I lied, I couldn't, I just, the blue van, the red and white lights, that was mine, my own private hell, I could not open the gorge, I never would, I never could. I felt Dean's eyes burn into my body as I looked at the ground. I knew he did not fully believe or buy what I was saying, he was no moron, but I didn't care, this wasn't his to know or hold. It was my shadow, my stalker, and my demon.

"Are you sure there isn't anything else?" He pushed again, this time softer, probably trying to find some vulnerability, prey on some part of me, so he could open me up and devour all my inner riddles, but no I would not let him or anyone else relive my own shop of horrors, it was too much too bear. I just that was pain I needed to feel on my own solely, I would always have to pay penance and repent and no one could share in it, even if it was just to blame me or judge me, no that would still be shouldering it. My penance had to be to shoulder that memory, that instance always and solely alone. I needed to be with it alone it's what I deserved, what my actions amounted to and warranted.

"I'm positive Dean, I was desperate, I would do anything to get my twin back, imagine if you lost Sam the lengths you would go to find him and you guys are simply brothers not twins, for twins it goes deeper than that." I answered confidently, raising my gold eyes to meet his steel green ones, challenging him again to accuse me of the lie we both knew was hanging in the air between us.

"Well if that's the truth, then we should be all set. He may try to press you about Griffith, but since we know Faith is indefinitely an angel, I can almost guarantee Crowley has no information or say over Griffith, so he cannot use that too much." He replied firmly, giving in, but not wholly, of course adding a small dig, but I took it knowing I could not push this any further if I wanted it to drop here.

….

"Mommy, Mommy, where, help, please, I hurt!" The screaming, it just kept repeating over and over. It was chilling, so young, so high-pitched, laced with agony and fear, raw fear. It was dark everywhere, complete darkness, not a shed of light, illumination, or even a shadow. I reached out towards the screaming that was on a loop, repeating over and over, yet growing fainter and fainter each time, signaling how close its finish was, how close death was. I flailed my arms, anything to move just an inch, to do something, to feel something. My legs were pinned down in agony, I could only fail my arms, and for so long I could not feel anything and I began to feel each part of my body one joint, one bone at a time, until wet warm liquid rushed through my fingertips. And I did not have to see it to identify it, blood, it was everywhere filling the space, drowning the screams. And then I couldn't breathe.

"Caroline, Caroline, CAROLINE STOP, STOP IT." And then, I was back in the motel, there was a dim light, I was in a bed, a cold sweat drenching my small frame, with my extremities swinging everywhere in a panic, beating the crap out of a broad guy with beautiful green eyes shirtless with sweatpants hanging low on his hips, who was in a frenzy beside me trying to restrain me, Dean.

"So help me god Caroline, do not make me slap you, I will, you need to come to now, you are going to hurt yourself!" He roared clearly angry and slowly I was able to regain control of my limbs, and my body finally went slack, and all I could register on was Dean's ragged and heavy breathing, clearly unnerved, and his large hands tight grip on my wrists.

"Jesus, Caroline." He breathed in relief.

"Your hands, you're hurting me." I spoke softly almost childlike, still in a daze, night terror that's all I could think, I had not had one in months, but clearly reliving all that stuff set it off again, cause I definitely just had one.

"Oh shit, sorry I was just trying to make sure you didn't knock yourself out there Fido, you throw some pretty nasty punches in your sleep even though your form is shit." He tried to joke easily as he quickly let go of my wrists.

"Sorry, night terrors, have not had one in months, thought I finally lost them." I explained slightly embarrassed.

"Its fine, I figured, just glad you didn't knock yourself out, that's the best fight you have put up against me so far, so I guess it was good for something."

"Yeah, yeah Van-Helsing so funny." I quipped back trying to readjust my mind and body to reality and normalcy, trying to shake the fear and guilt that I left in the darkness, the darkness, I knew all too well.

"You remember the dream? It seemed pretty awful by the way your whole body was spazzing and stuff."

"No, I never do." I lied easily; it was all connected my attempted deal, the night terrors all a sequence that needed to remain buried.

"Well I was kind of hoping to hit the sack, but now that you've gone unconscious MMA fighter on me, I'm a little concerned about sleeping next to you." He quipped raising an eyebrow at me as he quickly ran a hand through his short hair.

"I'm ok Dean, sorry, and I've never had more than one in a night so I should be totally safe. Plus I doubt I will go back into a deep sleep after that anyhow, I'll probably just be in and out of rem sleep all night, you cant have them in that stage." I stated quite logically for someone who was rambling on.

"I'm just kidding Caroline, don't worry, I can handle you." He stated easily while climbing into bed next to me, when I finally noticed Sam's absence.

"No you can't" I replied automatically and hardly.

"Uh yeah I can Fido." He replied in an annoyed fashion.

"Never-mind, where's Sam?" I inquired trying to move off the topic.

"He is actually finishing up that case we started working before all the stuff with the demon-bounty, another hunter Garth is with him. Wait, what did you mean before, I can totally handle you?"

"Wait does he need help that spirit was pretty aggressive." I asked quickly concerned about Sam, and completely ignoring the other issue.

"No we found the item the spirit was tied to and the identity so they are just destroying the item and salting and burning the bones, pretty standard. We thought you should get some rest and someone needed to stay with you, so here I am, and clearly after that display I was needed. Now stop avoiding the question, what do you mean." He pushed again, oh my god he is just infuriating. He cannot let anything go, or just learn basic social cues or at least follow them and avoid topics people clearly want to drop.

"Dean can we just drop it, I want to go back to sleep." I turned away from him pulling the cover up around my face.  
"No Caroline, you don't just get to drop topics when you want to and avoid shit, you do this constantly, if you are going to open your big mouth, I want an answer." He challenged, I could feel his eyes boring into my back, uh honestly he has to be the most stubborn, arrogant, irritating dude to ever live.

"Sorry buddy, I don't want to give one, and I don't have to."

"It's a simple question Caroline. Why can't you just answer it, do you not have an answer. Sounds like you, all you do is run your mouth, and then have nothing to back up your nonsensical rants." This asshole, I swear to god. I whipped my body back over again, and sat up looking down at him angrily.

"I do not answer to you, stop trying to tell me what to do, find a new hobby. I will do what I want when I want, and avoid whatever the hell I want to." I spat out, fighting with Dean, challenging him I don't know it was electric, like some sort of sick high. He then sat up, and got up in my face like always.

"Enough of your shit, honestly, I know your lying about that deal about not remembering your dream, I know your holding back, you better spill soon sweetheart or your little, stubborn, bony ass is going to get us all killed. I'm not chancing my life on your little bullshit box of secrets." He crossed the line, and I don't know a switch flipped I couldn't help it. I shoved him roughly.

"Shut up, you arrogant shit head! You know nothing, but you seem to think you have all the answers, when you're just some overly confident wannabe playboy, with severe abandonment and daddy issues, oh wait and some unwarranted, unfounded, and ludicrous superiority complex, screw you!" I cried as I shoved him again, harder this time and his body stumbled back a bit, while a slow anger burned in his green orbs.

"Shove me again I dare you." He spat out his voice laced with passion and malice. And of course because I didn't like to back down, because I had to keep the high going, because I needed to feed off this psychotic electricity, I shoved my entire body into him roughly. And finally pushed his fat ass off the bed in a loud thump, though it was already half off before I pushed him, but that was neither here nor there. And then I realized that maybe I had taken it too far.

"That's it I've had it with you, you stuck up little brat." He roared from down below me, and even though logically I knew he wouldn't actually hurt me, and I knew that he would simply argue with me till it rained cats and dogs, but never actually become violent with me, I reacted. I flashed back again like a few days before and I scrambled out of the bed in terror from his reaction, and locked myself in the bathroom while reeling into a classic panic attack. I was back in a daze; similar to the one I was trapped in when I had awoken a few minutes ago.

"Balls." Through my haze I heard Dean curse as he got up slowly and languidly like always, and then padded to the door much softer than normal. He was trying not to spook me even further that much was obvious, but that was kind of a lost cause at that point. I had to get it together, if I wanted the boys to let me go through with this plan, I had to work through this shit. I was probably this unstable cause I had just told them all that shit and it was the first time I had talked aloud about that stuff in years, everything would settle in a few days, it had to. I have always been in control of it; it should not be any different now. Then as if on cue, there was a hesitant and soft knock.

"Caroline look, I'm, I just, I would never hurt you. I just yell and get agitated easily, but I would never lay a hand on you. It's just you're, you are infuriating and you get me all worked up and you just keep pushing it till we both blow up at one another. I just was going to yell, I would never hurt you." He finished his voice laced with regret and concern, I could tell he was on the verge of apologizing for once in his life, but I just, at this point I was wedged too much in my own world too care about challenging him and his stupid authority.

"Look can I come in please unlock the door, Fido, I didn't mean to go all American Psycho on you and freak you out." I was done fighting for the night, done challenging him, so I easily unlocked the door and resumed my position on the cold bathroom floor, as he walked through the door almost immediately. He did not touch me, or ask any more questions, instead he just slid down next to me.

"You want to go for a ride, I might let you drive my baby for a bit." He tried trying to ease the tension and the open wounds we had both created. I felt my breathing ease out finally and the tightness lift slightly from my chest, as I was able to take a deep yet shaky breath.

"Nah that's ok champ, I uhm, I should not have shoved you. I didn't mean to freak, I'm out of it cause of that night terror and whatever I'll be fine I just need to go back to sleep." I stood up quickly, firmly deciding I needed to shake my emotional baggage and get a grip immediately. He stood up too, peering at me curiously for a moment, but then he expression returned to his natural blaze stare.

"Alright let's go to bed." He stated, and I automatically rubbed the back of my neck, hit by the strange weight of his words. They really meant nothing, just words out of habit and circumstance, the lets met nothing more, it just eerily reminded me of a different time, when I shared my life and thoughts with someone else. That was stupid though I knew the let's had no other implication and I let is pass out of my thought process as I followed him back to our shared bed and climbed in on my side lazily. Then he spoke.

"The more time I spend with you, the less I feel I know you…about you, it's like some reverse relationship building crap. Like I think we find an understanding, common ground and then you just shut down. I'm not asking for a feelings circle like Sam, I just want some honesty, I didn't mean to force it though."

"I know." I replied matter of fact.

"Caroline, I'm not asking you to spill your guts and have an inner monologue moment with me, but the truth is going to have to come out and I know you're lying to us, to me."

"Its not that simple Dean." I stated, and then I felt him scoot closer to me and run a large hand through my loose ponytail wrapping a string softly around his finger.

"It is though, people make thing complicated, things are what they are, you live with them, can't change it, you complicate it."

"I thought we had a no fluff pact."

"This isn't fluff, its honesty, blatant honesty, which is in fact that exact opposite of fluff darling."

"Well what you're doing with my hair is pretty fluffy."

"Eh is it? Nah, I fidget with my hands a lot something to occupy them, it was unconscious."

"Ok."

"You are the queen of aversion, you should get an award." He quipped twirling the strand of my hair again around his finger lazily.

"Dean, bed time."

"Ok mommy, will it be snack time when I wake up, no time out chair right?" He joked childishly.

"Yeah sure Dean, it'll be pie o'clock when you wake up." I joked back.

"It's about damn time." He stated excitedly as I felt him fidget so he was lying flat on his stomach with an arm draped around the side of my body he could reach.

"Goodnight Dean." I drawled sarcastically. And then my whole body went flush and hot because he lips were right up against my ear and his whole body was pressed tightly against mine.

"You cant lie to me forever." He whispered gravely and deeply as a shiver ran up my spine and shook my body and I felt him chuckle softly, as he then just as quickly as he had rolled onto me, rolled off.

"Sweet dreams Fido." He quipped easily and there was no denying the strange tingling that was exploding at all of my nerve endings from my shoulders to my toes.


	7. Lose Your Appetite for Self-Destruction

Note from the Author: Just to preface this chapter: I decided to change the timeline of this story I want it to be sometime in the middle/beginning of season 10 so from Dean's return to humanity onward which is when the boys take a small hiatus from hunting and then are more focused on just working cases. I know I make a few mentions of Bobby in the story, who by switching the timeline will tragically not be alive, which really kills me, but it makes more sense. And until I can clean up those references I just wanted to let you know they will probably be in reference to other hunters that are still alive and the boys still work with maybe even Garth, pushing the idea that he has started hunting on the side as a werewolf. So if the mark of Cain and other things start to get mentioned in this chapter I just wanted to make sure you guys knew I was tweaking the timeline so it made sense and you weren't like what is happening. Thanks for reading guys I really appreciate it any comments you have would be amazing, and I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter 7- Lose Your Appetite for Self-Destruction **

The low and deep rumbles from the band a few feet away filled my ears as I attempted to block out the background noise of drunken bar crawlers, their slurred speech and pounding of empty beer and shot glasses against the worn wood, signaling to the tenders and waitresses that they were ready for another round. We were suppose to be celebrating, Dean, Sam, me and this angel dude named Castiel we were waiting on, one last hooray before we kicked our plan into high-gear. Honestly as much as the eyes of creeps raking over my body and the chirps of desperate females trying to seek out a one night mate made me want to be pound my head against the sticky bar, I was grateful for the escape, for the prospect of getting a little loaded and forgetting the shit I had to face over the next few weeks. I had actually attempted to look like a chick tonight, I guess every once in a while it was nice to feel like I belonged in this universe, like every other poor sap in here, just passing some time in a crowded dive before the next boring day at the office. I tugged a bit at my blue oyster cult tank top, it hugged my small frame in all the right places, and hey with a pushup bra, my naturally smaller chest appeared a bit fuller. My honey blonde hair was pulled back in my traditional messy half up half down pony, I had actually bothered to blow it out for once and took the time to fill the piercings which lined my earlobes with studs. I had three piercings on my left ear, one being my cartilage the other two on my lobe, and five on my right ear simply going up my earlobe. Generally I only wore earrings in my cartilage piercing and the doubles on each of my lobes, but tonight I figured why not change it up. I had not worn all of them like that since my last year of law school, wasn't exactly respectable for an attorney to be jacked with piercings at a trial, in front of a judge. I had chosen my tightest pair of black jeans with the rip in the knee and of course my worn and rustic lace up boots, which were a distressed cognac color. And to top it all of I even threw on some make up but it was just a natural dusting, nothing drastic or god forbid cakey, just a few things to accent my check bones, slender nose, and large hazel-gold eyes. I clasped Griffith's dog tag in my fingers, which was tucked away in my front jean pocket, I felt it graze and vibrate against my several rings as metal rubbed against metal. I sighed and propped my elbow up on the bar peering at Sam impatiently.

"Where are they?" I complained like a small petulant child, and Sam chuckled easily.

"They will be here soon Cas and Dean just had some things to discuss on the way over, and Cas is always well late I guess, dude says he's going to materialize at one time and appears at another, generally hours later than expected."

"I really don't like angels or punctual people so I guess those cancel each other out and I'll attempt to be nonbiased toward this addition to the Ghostbusters."

"Will you stop calling us that, and please no more with the Buffy as well and why am I buffy?" Sam chattered along with humor and slight bit of offense to his tone, and I laughed in response.

"Personality archetypes Buffy fits you better, Van-Helsing and Dean are one in the same, man." I replied crossing one leg over the other easily casting a sidelong glace and smirk at Sam.

"You're ridiculous, how about a round while were waiting." I perked up at the sound of that.

"Sounds like a plan to me. Double shot of tequila, I can do without a lime wedge, but I would prefer one."

"Going straight for the good stuff?" He inquired raising an eyebrow at me.

"Actually no, I always drink tequila something I picked up in college, the taste was I don't know smoother, and I guess it just stuck. If I was going straight for the stuff that would force you to carry me out of here, whiskey would be the choice."

"Interesting, let me grab a bar tender, hold on." Sam turned toward the bar and I watched him trying to signal one of the scantly clad girls behind the bar over to us, and I chuckled he was so awkward around women sometimes, it was endearing. And then a pair of the clearest blue eyes I had ever seen locked on mine, the guy had a messy yet well kept head of thick dark hair and gazed at me with complete purpose, he was wearing a trench coat. He wore a trench coat to a dive-bar seriously, I mean he looked to be in his late thirties at least, but still a trench coat really? And then within seconds he was before me reaching out his hands.

"I'm Castiel, it's interesting to finally meet you Caroline." Well this dude was direct and super formal, I mean I knew he was a pretty high up angel at one point, from what Sam had told me. Apparently he lead some revolution, went a bit angel psycho, ended up in purgatory just chilling with some murderous rage, came back, lost his mojo or whatever as Dean called it became human, got it back and yeah had been trying to help restore heaven and earth's order for a bit, pretty boring dude if you ask me.

"Not really into angels, but yeah nice to meet you too."

"I'm not the biggest fan of my kind either, but you cannot chose your origins." Then I felt Sam's body swing around he smiled broadly pulling the dude into a large hug patting him on the back in a brotherly fashion.

"Sam its good to see you."

"Cas, good to have you back, where's Dean?" he inquired, yeah where is that lug he had been better in the last few days as we had been prepping for the plan not pushing me for more information, thank god.

"Oh yes that, he bumped into some blonde woman outside, I figured it would be better if I left them to themselves, I've heard most of his pickup lines at this point, figured it was a better use of my time to find the both of you." Without even thinking I grimaced and then rolled my eyes trying to cover up the expression of the strange annoyance I had just felt.

"Caroline, are you upset?" This dude what the hell how did he even catch that.

"Huh, no, what, why would I be upset?" I inquired widening my eyes trying to feign confusion.

"You appeared uncomfortable you made an expression when I mentioned Dean's location." He responded flatly no emotion, no implications, just straight observations, this guy/angel or whatever sure was a bit odd.

"I mean, I, oh I bumped my funny bone just a second ago so probably was from that." I replied trying to play it off.

"Funny bone, uh I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean." Castiel trailed off a bit confused.

"Seriously that's your excuse." Sam snorted at me while smirking in this knowing way.

"What do you mean excuse Buffy? It isn't an excuse what is wrong with you, where's my shot anyhow?" I glared at him pointedly.

"You are a piss-poor liar Caroline, but hey it stays between you and I. Here's your shot." He smiled at me handing me my double shot that had been resting on the bar while he grabbed his own shot, touché.

"What stays between us? You make no sense Goliath, lets just take this shot, stop trying to pussyfoot around it, hey angelboy you want one."

"Seriously Goliath?" Sam glared at me, not appearing to take a liking to his new nickname, hey, he said to stop calling him Buffy, at least I had something to interchange it with now, I would never actually stop calling him Buffy.

"Yup, suits your height obviously, but I'm trying to offer mister social skills over here a drink so stop interrupting, enjoy your new nickname."

"Alchol, hm, when I was human I did enjoy a beer, but now I can taste each molecule its quite disgusting in all honesty." Angelboy replied appearing to be seriously mulling over the decision.

"You do not enjoy a shot, you just swing it back, its quick and over, not a long drink like a beer, come on at least have one to toast to our meeting." I jabbered on quickly wanting to move off of Sam's weird implications and plus I just liked when everyone got hammered together, you see sides of people or angels in regard to this dude, who needed to loosen up a bit, that normally you wouldn't it was fun, Castiel shrugged in agreement and I grinned excitedly.

"Hey bartender one more over here please!" I called out easily.

"Sure thing dear." She replied shooting Sam a flirty gaze that immediately made him flush a tinge of pink as she easily slide another double down the bar and into my waiting hand.

"Alright boys, I propose a toast of course." I called out languidly lifting my glass as Sam easily lifted his and Castiel finally caught on and mirrored us raising his as well.

"To Alcohol, the Ghostbusters, and of course family." A little humor a little touchy feely that's what good toasts where made of. I laughed and clinked my glass with the boys as I watched Castiel finally make heads of tails of my Ghostbuster reference and smile quite innocently for an angel if you ask me. I was the first to throw back my shot, no burn, just a little bit of a bite afterword, and as I finished mine off I chuckled as Castiel was still tipping his back a bit shakily, definitely not a seasoned pro like Sam and I who were already finished and calling for another round.

**About an Hour Later**

"I refuse, I do not care that this my seventh shot, and my vision is a bit more lucid, yeah that's the word lucid, such a great word. Oh wait what was I saying oh yeah, I refuse to do karaoke." I shouted playfully at Sam while banging my hand against the bar. Sam's eyes were warmer now and his face was a bit flushed, he had quite a few more than me, but hey he was a giant. He playfully shoved my shoulder.

"Come on give us your greatest rendition of Eye of the Tiger." He drunkenly demanded.

"Hah no, no, no no, and no. Why don't you get up their flip your little swooshy hair all Justin Bieber like and sing some Brittany." I quipped back laughing fully. Sam's nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Please do not compare my hair to that prepubescent man-child."

"Sorry, but if you have the swoosh, you have the swoosh, there's no cure or escape." My gaze swung to the unnervingly sober Castiel, and my mouth went agape in an annoyed fashion.

"How are you sober isn't this your twelfth shot?" I cried incredulously.

"Caroline, angels really cannot become intoxicated, unless we were to per say drink the contents of an entire liquor store." He stated matter of fact as Sam chuckled.

"So get this, Cas did that one time. Just in case you wanted to know."

"I was in a very vulnerable state it was a dark time for me." Castiel replied quite seriously and I just was to silly to be serious so I laughed, I could not help it and Cas just rolled his baby blues eyes at me and then finally the green, there they were those green eyes, that made my body feel all warm and tingly, and not from alcohol, just from emotions and attraction that were easier to comprehend and accept in this state. He then proceeded to clap Castiel on the shoulder and chuckle deeply at my antics.

"Look who decided to grace us with his presence." Sam drawled out sarcastically.

"Caroline are you trying to take advantage of Sammy, it looks like you got him pretty hammered. And Cas you may be sober, but you reek of booze so I figure Fido over here got everyone in on the celebrations and toasts to our doom and destruction." He replied easily ruffling my hair a bit, to which I responded by sticking my tongue out at him childishly.

"Very mature Caroline, exactly the skills we are going to need out on the field." He laughed darkly.

"Yeah, Yeah whatever, I'm going to get another you in Sam?" I stated excitedly as I placed either arms on the side of his broad body, dancing from one foot to the other impatiently in front of him.

"You got it pipsqueak." He drawled in a joking fashion as he easily swung an arm around my neck and swayed us side to side jokingly as we headed to the bar humming some Van Morrison song to me in an exaggerated fashion, and I vaguely heard Dean laughing and calling for us to wait up.

"No, no, no, no, not that you are not a wonderful being or anything, but we would like that brunette bartender over there, the one wearing the cute little flannel, my friend Sammy here, he's feeling it." I drunkenly explained to the cute male bartender who was attempting to wait on us and appeared to be very amused by me. Sam swatted me clearly still embarrassed in his drunken state, hah wittle baby Sammy, Sam.

"How about this gorgeous, I wait on you, and I'll get Amber to wait on your buddy." I was pretty drunk, much more flirty than normal and well he was cute totally my type, broad, muscular, thick light brown hair, and beautiful hooded hazel eyes, I was into it, for the moment.

"Sure thing, that works." I replied easily smirking at him and trying to lean over the bar in an enticing way I guess, popping my hip out a bit. He winked at me and then walked towards the brunette I knew I could convince Sam to go home with.

"Alright Sam its time to get your game face on." I started swinging my body towards him, but I was not only met by his drunken stare, I was also met by Deans as well which was much more sober and a bit tense.

"Oh look its van-helsing, look do not mess with Sammy's game this one is for him ok." I challenged placing my hands on my hips, staring down, my favorite rival.

"No problemo Fido, but wanna tell me what exactly you're doing."

"Hmm little old me. Nothing just being a wing-woman to my buddy here and getting a drink." I replied easily sliding back under Sam's brotherly half-hug, peering up at him, looking for support, but his eyes were wide and held a strange emotion some type of concern, he must be able to sense something about Dean that I could not.

"Hey little lady, you ready for that drink." Oh hot bartender is calling; I easily slipped out of Sam's brotherly embrace and strode easily over to where good looking man was leaning on the other side of the bar.

"Well that depends, on whether you'll have one with me or not." I replied coyly as I watched Sam out of the corner of my eye sweetly and a bit clumsily flirt with the brunette. However my little game was interrupted by the smell of mint and firewood.

"Hey buddy, I'll take one of whatever she's having and of course I'm buying." What the hell, Dean was totally cramping my style right now, I could totally see the guy become confused and uncomfortable now unsure as to whether I was with this lug head or not, did I want him to think I was with this lug head, did I want to be with this lug head, shit, screw this.

"Yeah sure no problem man." He easily started to walk away, to prep the doubles I ordered.

"Yo Dean get out of here." I whispered yelled, not wanting to have to face whatever it was I felt towards him instead choosing to get involved with someone else even if just for the evening. I mean, I was not one for causal sex, to be honest I had only been with Bryson, for a long time I thought I was saving myself for the person I would marry, but Bryson he kind of screwed me out of that. However. I was down to make out with this guy nothing more, just see if I felt a spark with any guy I was attracted to so I could just chalk up that weird electricity I had with Dean to animalistic attraction and nothing else.

"And let mister I get girls drunk and naked for a living, have his way with you, I don't think so.'" He replied gruffly possessively wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Get your hands off of me." I growled darkly at him, my entire body was on fire, and that electricity was humming and swirling sweeping through my body quickly and wildly as I drew out a shaky breath. All of sudden Cas was there, about to speak, but then he noticed Dean's hands and my waist.

"Wait are you two in relations." He inquired awkwardly, what the fuck, relations seriously.

"God no, Dean is just a caveman." I bit out angrily trying to wriggle out of Dean's tight yet secure grasp.

"She's infuriating, I don't know how we have not killed each other yet." Dean added.

"Yeah well he thinks he is some authoritative god figure who can tell everyone what to do all the time." I replied caustically, aiming the remark at Cas, who held his hands up in front of him as to suggest this was not his fight.

"Worst attitude ever, you think I'm stubborn, that I don't know when to quit you should hang out with her for a few hours, she'll drive you insane in the worst way." He then gripped my waist and swiveled me roughly so that I was facing him and his eyes burned into mine angrily.

"He has an addictive and slightly obsessive personality especially in the areas of liquor, cheap skanks, and making love to his stupid baby also known as his car." Then his eyes blazed.

"Did you just call my baby stupid, do not mess with my wheels!" He glared down at me so we were nose to nose.

"What you can't hear now too, yeah your B-A-B-Y is Stupid. Old hunk of junk." I articulated roughly, I only was saying it to get a rise out of him to feel the electricity pulse and hum and come to life. I actually loved his car it was antique, my dad use to fix up antique cars, but no matter I had pressed all the wrong buttons.

"You self-serving, stuck-up, prissy, stubborn little brat." He taunted grabbing my wrists roughly, challenging me to say something else, anything else to push him over the edge, but what the edge would give way to I was not quite sure, but the tension damn you could cut it with a knife.

"I think you should back up." Uh oh bad move hot bartender, bad move.

"Excuse me." Dean replied brusquely letting go of me and pushing me protectively behind him as he strode up dominantly into the bartenders face, in the distance I could hear Sam curse, as my drunken haze started to lift and the ensuing events began to sober me up slightly, but not really all that much.

"I think you should leave the girl alone." The bartender challenged getting up in Dean's face in response, worse move.

"You think I should leave her alone." He chuckled darkly. "You were the one attempting to jump her bones from behind the bar, so I think you're the one who should stay far away from her."

"She was responding to me buddy, now you she definitely is not interested in." He replied taunting Dean with a smirk trying to embarrass and agitate him. He went too far though, suddenly something snapped I saw Dean's jaw tightened and a vein in his neck pulse, and before the pop and the crunch I watched his knuckle clench and then he threw the nastiest punch I had seen in a while and all hell broke loose, without Crowley and demons for once. Girls screamed, guys joined in, attempting to pick sides some going at each other or other male bartenders, and Dean and that hot guy were a blur, and I became frantic. Suddenly I felt Sam grasp my forearm and shove me towards Castiel.

"Get her out of here, I'll find him." Sam replied quite seriously for someone who was pretty drunk just a few moments ago. With barely any choice and a state of shock hovering over me I stumbled out of the bar as Castiel towed me along with a gentle hold I was not used to. He was kind of endearing, and in that moment I decided he was the only angel I liked. Several minutes later, although it felt like hours to me, Sam emerged, towing an angry and hostile Dean by his collar. Dean, oh my god, his eye was swollen his jaw was already turning black and blue and his knuckles were bloody and taut with scrapes and cuts all over. Thus with absolutely zero thought process and a little help from my old friend alcohol I launched myself at Dean, pushing Sam out of the way, and clambering up into Dean's arms roughly wrapping myself around him, burying my head into his chest. At first his only response was a tense "oof" which indicated to me that I had caused him a bit of discomfort perhaps due to a bruised rib or something broken and that made me even more apprehensive, and of course in my drunken state instead of loosening up my grip I held on tighter concerned and distraught, wanting to take his pain, to heal him, to keep him with me like some small selfish little girl. His arms slowly and bit chaotically wrapped around me in response I could feel his confusion. I felt him breathe heavily and erratically as he held me and then I heard murmurs behind us and one voice mutter that they should leave us be for a moment, probably Castiel, and finally I registered on large footsteps walking away from us.

"I'm sorry." I whispered hoarsely. "I always do this, I always just rile people up. That's why Bryson used to hit me, it was my fault, like now, I'm just doing it again I don't learn." I rambled on the liquid courage allowing me to share these wounds with him. At the mention of Bryson's name though Deans entire demeanor changed his breathing stopped, he went rigid and he pulled me gently out of the comfort of his chest and stared at me in a very alarmed yet determined fashion.

"Caroline, no, Bryson should have never laid a single finger on you, ever. That was in no way your fault, he was, he is an animal sweetheart, and if I ever get my hands on him, which I will, I swear to god, I'm gonna rip his lungs out, I will end that son of a bitch, he's a dead man walking. I never want to hear you say something like that again, do you understand me." There was a fire burning behind Dean's eyes and some type of murderous rage I could not quite understand, why did he want to hurt Bryson this much, kill him, for me? But I still felt that guilt, that gnawing awareness that Bryson knew what I was, and what I deserved.

"No, No Dean you don't understand I deserved all that, this, that everything its all my fault, I'm a dark mark, an omen, don't you get that, that's why Griffith was chosen and not me I'm the fallen sibling, the fallen twin, you have to understand." I pleaded with him as my voice broke, and his eyes the emotion and warmth and fire just keep rolling and changing within them as he processed what I said.

"Caroline, no you are none of those things god damnit, that son of a bitch really did a number on you didn't he." Then he cupped my face in a sort of reverent yet affectionate fashion it was confusing, but I didn't fully register on it cause I still needed him to understand.

"No Dean it was before then, I've been marked for a long time, long before Bryson when I was sixteen."

"You are not marked, don't you dare say that, are you hearing me. Look my job has always been to watch out for my little brother, my pain in the ass little brother, to take care of him because were family. And, someone who always watched over me told me that family don't end with blood and maybe it don't always start there either. And you, me, Cas, and Sam are family blood or not, so I'm going to watch over you too, take care of you and don't think for a second that you are not as much of a pain in my ass as Sam, you may be worse. But I, look I've screwed up a lot, I've failed so many people and things, especially the ones I care about the most, but I swear, this time, I wont I'm not going to fail Sam or Cas or….you, not you, I'm going to take care of you." Dean crushed me into his body as he finished his body shook a bit and I just nodded, I couldn't respond I did not know how to. I had not felt that much commitment that much protection since my mother had a soul honestly.

My hands shakily gripped the opening of his old button down shirt and I lifted my head from his chest slowly. And maybe it was the alcohol or the weight of his words, but I didn't really care either way I wanted to feed the hum to start an electricity storm let it spark and rumble and explode. So I craned my neck up slightly and butterflied my lips against his softly, then questioning my own actions self consciously I attempted to pull away and hide my face, but instead I was met with and shocked by him grasping me towards him needy and aggressive and then he crashed his lips down onto mine passionately, instinctively, inherently as if I was made just for him.

The kisses grew deeper and needier and the electricity swarmed around us crackling in the air, inside my body, and inside his as we fed off of it and fueled the fire and the passion we had created around us. I could feel the charge in the air as I swept my fingers through his hair grasping at the ends and I heard a low groan emit from the back of his throat in response. He quickly pulled away from my lips moving down to his ghost his lips at the base of my neck teasing and nipping, until he unexpectedly bit down marking me, with his own chosen mark, his territory, I gasped at the contact and shivered. I grasped at his hair once again trying to get him to reattach his full rough lips back on mine. He kissed up my neck following the pulls of my wrists back up to my bitten and swollen lips, but not before he placed tender kisses across the expanse of my small jaw. He ceased cupping my face to tangle his fingers through my hair as his kisses grew more frenzied and encompassing his tongue begging for entrance which I easily complied with as shots of fire and tingles shot through my belly and down below. Finally he let up to give us a moment to breathe, as my breath came out shallow, frantic, and heated, he wasted no time, swiftly cupping my ass and lifting me up to him as I unconsciously wrapped my legs around him and finally looked up to really see him and to try to understand what was happening. His green eyes burned with need, passion, adoration and other things I could not place or understand.

"Dean ,I, if this is just for now, I cant, I wont be able to." I formed some type of incoherent thought, trying to find some answers and convey to Dean that I did not do one night stands that this had to mean something more or it had to just stop, fizzle out, although I do not know how you kill this kind of burn, this kind of electricity.

"It's not it never would be, I've been fighting it since I first saw you, just trying to protect you, us, but I just son of bitch I can't." He seemed to be grappling with himself, waging some type of internal war, but he seemed to push it away as he crashed his lips onto mine again, and though the passion was burning up my core and the need was eating my body alive I realized we were in the parking lot of a dive bar and Castiel and Sam probably saw this entire thing and suddenly I was painfully aware of how uhm well caught up in each other we were and how shy I actually could be. So I pulled away from Dean franticly and in a jumpy manner with my eyes wide and my cheeks flushed not just from the heated make out session, and then I registered on the fact that Dean had hardened against me and I grew even more timid and embarrassed as I scrambled off of him and back onto the concrete, shakily. My legs feeling a bit like those of Gumby and each of my nerves were still shooting off electric bolts and zaps continuously warming my body with passion and desire.

"Caroline what's wrong, come on sweetheart please don't run on me again, look I get that this doesn't make much sense."

"No Dean, its not that, its just well parking lot, Sam and Castiel, this is just not the time or place." I stated much more sober than before reaching my arms around my waist to wrap myself in a comforting manner as I grew more and more embarrassed and aware.

"Oh shit yeah ok, I'm sorry sweetheart, I just I don't know shit, I'm sorry." He rambled on swerving his head about looking around as he dug his hands into his pockets a bit sheepish. He approached me again, dominate waves of possession rolling off of him, but his expression was much softer, concerned.

"Are you ok, Fido, I didn't mean to get all chick flick on you." I laughed a bit as I saw him give me a bit of self-conscious stare.

"Dean, for once, the fluff was ok, and was well clearly returned, I would just prefer not to make a porno in the parking lot."

"Actually I did see this Asian porno once that took place in a parking lot damn it was something else." His mind seemed to drift off into fetish land as I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously Dean totally unnecessary, jeez."

"Oh shit yeah, did I say that aloud, yeah totally not the time for that son of a bitch." Vulnerable and embarrassed Dean was pretty entertaining.

"Come on lets find Goliath and angelboy." I quipped tucking myself under his arm easily as I scanned the parking lot for the other two boneheads, as he chuckled at my nicknames, hey at least someone appreciated my creativity.

….

The four of us rode silently along in the Impala, we were headed for some bunker, or as Dean called it, the bat cave, what a weirdo, mhmm my weirdo, shit Caroline stop being a girly priss jeez. Anyway, apparently it would be the safest place for us now that the boys had wrapped up that other smaller case and we had collected most of the items we would need. My poor Volvo had been left in the care of another hunter we met up with before leaving who would fix it up and then meet up with us to return it when it was ruining again. I nervously picked at my fingernails as I felt Castiel's gaze on me. I also could see Sam run his hands throw his swoosh hair as I had deemed it as well as steal glances at Dean and smirk, as Dean glared back at him.

"I don't understand." Castiel stated bluntly, oh god no. Dean peered into his mirror trying to direct a glare at angelboy, but it did not help.

"Why would you guys deny having relations when you clearly have been having them." I groaned and dropped my head in my hands embarrassedly, as I heard Sam snort and then laugh deeply.

"We didn't." I replied my voice muffled by my hands.

"Yeah it just happened in the parking lot." Dean added.  
"Wait you had relations in the parking lot just now that was quite quick, well actually Dean did show me a video some time ago of a similar nature that occurred in a parking lot."  
"Cas!" Dean yelled out banging his hand on the steering wheel, as Sam turned his face away from Dean completely cracking up at Castiel's inquiries. My face burned in shame.

"Angelboy we did not have those types of relations as you call it in the parking lot, there was no porno time, my god, has everyone seen that one or something." I muttered exasperatedly while hitting my head against my headrest.

"Just everyone in this car because Dean insisted on showing it to everyone." Sam quipped still laughing.

"Oh for the love of pie! Cram it you asshat." Dean shot at Sam.

"For the love of pie, seriously Dean?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Dean bit out.

"I still do not understand the relations in the parking lot." Castiel broke in once again.

"For the love of god, we made out Castiel nothing else do you comprehend now, est-ce que tu comprends?" I shot angrily in French just because I don't know I was pissed and annoyed, plus I spent a semester in Paris and had taken French since high school thus I was fluent and sometimes it just came out.

"You speak French?" Angelboy inquired interestedly and clearly onto the next topic of discussion.

"This is going to be a long freaking ride, don't you have like places to fly, prayers to answer."

"Not really in the prayer business anymore, but I found as a human I enjoyed long rides, found them calming, and I need sometime to think and just listen to the angel radio, and this is as good of a place as any." He replied contentedly.

"Why, just why is this happening to me." I cried exasperatedly banging my head against the back of Dean's seat, as Sam continued to laugh at this ridiculous situation.

"Fido, watch the leather."

"Bite me."

"Anytime, anytime."

"Lame." I shot back.

"Are you having what they call a lovers spat?" Castiel questioned quite seriously and Dean groaned.

"Ok angelboy, we are going to play a little game its called who can stay fucking quiet the longest, so no talking, no thinking about talking, no nothing." I stated and I heard Dean's low warm chuckle.

"But."

"Ah, no talking." I quipped placing my hand on Castiel's mouth to silence him and finally he nodded rolled his blue eyes at me and preceded to drift off into his own thoughts as he gazed out the window. Finally peace and quiet, I did not even give Sam the satisfaction of swinging a glance his way so he could smirk at me or whatever, instead I pointedly shut my eyes and waited to drift off to the sound of Metallica.

…

During the last few hours of the trip the boys had blindfolded me, saying it was not due to a lack of trust, but rather a simple precaution because of the nature of our plan and their concern about the location ever being revealed by force or mistake. I had fought them on it a bit, but in the end I realized I might be safer with the lack of information in regards to the location of the bat cave. When we were finally inside the bunker, Sam retreated to his room saying he was going to shower, and angelboy conveniently decided to fly off, why he could not do that during the car ride I will never understand. Nonetheless, it was just Dean and I. Dean easily gripped my hand and tossed both our bags over his broad shoulder as he led me down a brightly light hallway that reminded me of a more glamorous world war II bunker or bomb shelter. He easily pushed open a heavy door to what I assumed was his room. Several weapons, some ancient and barbaric looking sat stacked and mounted on one of his walls, his bed was not enormous but it was not a simple twin either and it was backed against the back wall and neatly made, hmm Dean kept his room neat, interesting. What caught my eye , however, was a faded photo that sat on his desk of a beautiful blonde woman with her arms tightly wrapped up around a young boy with matching blonde locks cut into a classic bowl cut, whose resemblance to Dean was uncanny. Her smile was broad, warm, and inviting and little Dean was all hooded eyes and lanky clearly at ease and simply loved and adored by this woman, I could not help by run my finger across it tenderly and I heard Dean's breathing hitch.

"Sorry I did not mean to invade your privacy."

"Uh no its fine, that's my mom and I, when I was kid. You know my Dad and her sometimes they would fight and one time I don't know my dad left for a few days, I knew he would be back. In my head, it was so simple, I knew he loved my mom so he would come back and that's what I told her, and he did comeback just like I said, but things, never stay that easy, it always becomes more complicated." Dean sighed running a hand through his hair ghosting his hand down my back softly. And finally I asked him what I had been dying to know, the story of his mom, why Sam blamed himself often, what had actually happened. And he told me, no qualms, no defense mechanism, no aggressive response, he told me about the demon yellow eyes as they deemed him, his mother burning on the ceiling, Sam drinking demon blood and somewhere along the lines and the words and the pain I felt for him I realized that maybe him and I were not all that different than I had thought, both forced into lives we could never chose or control intentionally, both trying desperately to right wrongs, to patch up wounds anyway we could, protect our families. When he stopped for a breath after finishing telling me about escaping purgatory I took his hands in mine softly and looked up at him.

"Dean lets go to bed." I stated simply looking to give him refuge, rest, a place to escape.

"Caroline you know that's only a short synopsis of all the shit I've got stowed there's a hell of a lot more to tell unfortunately."

"And we have a hell of a lot time to rehash it, I want to know Dean, I want to share it with you, but too much at once sometimes it feels easier to just reveal it all in one shot, but it knocks you on your ass it reopens too much."

"Yeah, hey do you need a t-shirt?" He said easily shifting topics and masking his raw emotion he was pretty decent at that, much like me, I smiled and stroked the stubble on his chin softly.

"I do not need one, but I would like one to be honest." He grinned.

"Sure thing Fido." He replied easily grabbing a large white undershirt from his small dresser by his bed as I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"Thanks asshat." I quipped back as he threw it towards me, I instantly caught wind of the smell of firewood and mint that was still present in the fabric.

"Wow after all this caring and sharing and feelings time we've had you hit me with that, wow right through the heart baby."

"Oh shut up, now turn around." I demanded as I unbuttoned my jeans.

"Wait for real?" He stated like a child that was just denied candy.

"Yes for real now turn around, and no peaking Winchester, I'm not daft you know."

"So hot when you're all demanding." He stated raising an eyebrow at me and giving me a heated stare.

"Sorry Casanova but still no. Now turn your ass around."

"Fine!" He gave in turning his back to me as I quickly changed into his t-shirt and my boy shorts, surprised that he had acted like a complete gentlemen for once with not even a single attempt to steal a glance.

"Alright all good." I called out.

"Well I'm just going to strip, look all you want babe." He quipped, winking at me, while proceeding to pull down his jeans.

"Dean!" I cried completely embarrassed as I spun around, tightly shutting my eyes.

"And I thought I was adorable, you definitely have beaten me." He chuckled clearly amused. A few moments later I felt two strong arms wrap around me and lips graze the top of my head.

"Come on I'm dressed don't worry, lets go to bed, my mattress is memory foam, plus there are no stains, no weird smells, and you will be the first and only girl to ever share it with me." He whispered softly and affectionately in my ear.

"Fine, you big man baby."

"For the final time I am not a man baby or a man child or whatever else you claim." He sighed as he walked me to his bed arms still wrapped around me.

"Man baby, man baby, man baby." I taunted darkly while laughing.

"Now you've done it!' He cried playfully as he swept me up bridal style and dumped me on his bed proceeding to flop down after me and begin a tickle war.

"No more, no more I surrender!" I coughed and laughed at the same time as my ribs ached and I writhed all about trying to escape his tickle ambushes.

"Good, now if you excuse me I need to catch up on my beauty sleep." He replied, easily molding himself into the big spoon and wrapping the covers and himself securely around me as he placed a soft kiss behind my ear and the top of my back as he snuggled into me. I easily closed my eyes and could feel sleep begin to call of course signaled by the tension that started to creep up my body, but just like he did since that first time he felt me tense he easily began to draw languid shapes across my back trying to ease my muscles. I felt my body loosen a bit as the blue van still drove against my closed lids, but at least I had other things to focus on now beside the blue van like the feeling of Dean's fingers ghosting across my body, easing my stress. and anxiety as well as my need to challenge him and of course get the last word, thus before sleep found me completely I muttered more to myself than anyone, "Man-Baby," and smiled contently clearly pleased with myself, even half asleep.

"I heard that Fido." He quipped back, pulling me closer a bit roughly while ghosting kisses across the base of my neck as I snuggled closer and intertwined my fingers with his. Did I fully trust Dean, no, did I think that was my greatest idea, no, but there was no denying the security I inherently felt laying there in his arms. Maybe in the morning light this would throw me for a loop like no other and the adrenaline high I had been cruising on would plummet and shatter this portrait. I just for once could not curb my emotions and I wanted to be impulsive. I could never give Dean my soul or my full self, we would never really be together or united, that was not our future. No, Dean and Sam, I may hold fond feelings for them, but they were simply a means to an end, a stepping stone to Griffith, and right now I needed them, but in the end I would leave just like all the other times. The kiss, the admission of feelings it changed nothing I knew that. It would never change anything Dean and I would never be forever, but right now I needed and wanted the security his embrace brought. Soon enough these would just be memories, floating around my mind, not bad ones though, just a time when I felt safety. And Dean he made the dreams bearable, and those dreams had been plaguing me for years, he was the only person who had ever made them ease up, so why not take advantage of that, I needed relief. There was no denying the attraction between Dean and I, it had been there from when we first met, we were drawn to each other, but it was simply biological and I knew that, nothing more nothing less. Our souls were not connected, were not fated to be together, we were a refuge to each other in a storm and that was that. When it all came to pass it would be over like the destruction of any other safe house and I knew Dean must feel the same, he could never give someone himself completely he too was too proud guarded, broken, too use to being alone, and split to pieces, that was evident. And I, I had already vowed to never give that part of myself to anyone ever again, to never be a pawn in someone else's game, to never belong to anyone, anything, or anywhere ever again. No strings, no connections, no ties just floating aimlessly, responsible solely to my family and myself no one else. And that would never change, the fondness I felt towards Sam the warmth I felt towards Dean the electricity that pulled me towards him would never be enough to alter that.


	8. Chapter 8- In Another Life

Chapter 8: In Another Life

Shit, shit, shit, shit I knew I was going to regret this, but he was just so warm and he smelled like firewood and home, and being wrapped up in his arms was damn near close to the best feeling in the world. Dean Winchester was screwing me all up, once again. Since the moment he walked into my life he was a pain in my ass and now things had just gotten way more complicated. The teenage girl in me just wanted to fall under his spell and into the rapture that a bad boy with a soft side underneath it all was, but I knew that was a mistake. I had to admit in another world perhaps another life I would want Dean, want to be with Dean, but in this life that could never be, plus he was completely pigheaded so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Everything he shared with me last night though, it was just so raw, so honest, so haunted, and I saw parts of myself in him, I could relate to him, maybe we could just be friends simply friends who slept in the same bed….I mean I had to leave anyhow it would be less of an attachment that way, and we wouldn't quite be friends with benefits either. I was just too confused as I cracked my eyes open slowly to find him still sleeping quite adorably if I was going to be honest with myself. His full lips were slightly parted and I could hear his deep breaths laboring in and out. He was rolled on his stomach with one arm securely wrapped around me, his back was bare, the cords of his muscles evident and defined as he breathed and twitched a little every so often. Those hooded eyes were closed to me, but the soft large eye beds and thick light lashes fluttered every so often, signaling that he was dreaming. Man this sucked, why did he have to be so damn attractive he should be a Calvin Klein model for underwear or whatever, it was just ridiculous. What did he want with me anyways, he just thought I was a bony priss. I needed space, a way to clear this fog, this confusion, so I softly and quietly slipped out from underneath him and padded out of the room careful not to disturb him. I easily headed back the way we walked in last night and found myself in the main entry hall where Sam and Cas were seated deep in conversation clearly one that was serious, but they ceased it when they noticed my presence.

"Good morning boys, is there any coffee?" I asked a blush creeping into my face, uncomfortable about their knowledge of Dean and I's situation, as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Yeah I just brewed a pot in the kitchen, help yourself."

"When you finish we need to talk." Castiel stated bluntly to which Sam gave him a look of disapproval.

"Yeah sure, let me just grab a mug."

…..

"I require your presence." Castiel explained to me bluntly as him, Sam, and I sat around a long table in the bunker's main hall. Require my presence what? After taking a sip of my coffee, I carefully placed it down on the table and swung my glance toward Cas.

"What do you mean, I have to remain with the boys and carry out the plan we have a limited time period and I have a pretty serious demon bounty on my head."

"Caroline what I need you for is much larger than this bounty, though I know it has you quite occupied. Hence I will take Sam with us as well and as I carry out what I need to, you and him can carry out your plan as well. Dean will need to remain here though, his presence is needed elsewhere, on other matters, I hope you can understand that."

"But I, what do you need me for?" I questioned as my head spun and I attempted to keep my qualms and outbursts at bay.

"I believe there is an angel who may know something of your situation, the prophesy, but he will need to examine you as you are a key piece in it to make any observations or conclusions." He stated formally, while folding his hands easily and staring at me with ease.

"What's the word this morning kiddos?" Dean's deep and gravely voice still heavy from sleep burst me out of my haze at Cas' change of plans. He clearly was unaware of the new situation and Sam's face fell at his inquiry.

"Dean you're awake, good, we have things to discuss." Man Castiel would make a great businessman, so formal and demanding yet gentle and convincing, very persuasive dude, very charming.

"Sure thing Cas, what's up?" He shot out easily as he came to sit beside me without hesitation.

"I need Sam and Caroline. There is an angel I need to locate who may be able to inform us on the prophesy further, if he can examine Caroline. So I will take the both of them, locate the angel, and they will do what they must to clean up the demon bounty. Dean you though, you must speak with someone about the mark, it is of the outmost importance, your rage will continue to be an issue, I have several contacts you need to follow up with about it." Huh what mark, what rage, Dean always had a temper? I felt Dean tense beside me.

"Cas you do realize the plan requires Caroline getting kidnapped, how does that fit into your little field-trip." Dean stated hardly.

"It actually will require less work, I can easily help Sam Capture one of Crowley's trusted confidants. And the angel who will examine Caroline can easily place a tracking piece in her, much less painful and invasive, that will be warded from the demons notice. Obviously our dealings with this angel will be kept separate from the demon we capture, it should be much easier and more fruitful on multiple fronts if carried out in this manner. Additionally as the prophesy approaches we must act on any leads regarding it, and right now this appears to be our best option to gaining any information." Why was Cas, calling the shots Dean, did not take orders from people, but this did sound like it would make the plan easier.

"The mark can wait, I don't think we should split up." Dean challenged.

"Dean, Sam and I discussed this for the health of plan, and due to the fact that Sam and Caroline have to be in relations we think you should not be present."

"I'm coming." Dean stated flatly his hand moving possessively to my knee clutching it tenderly yet firmly, great cue the butterflies, screw me.

"Dean, the mark, this is a very serious matter, your temper is unpredictable, Caroline will only intensify it, make you more impulsive less rational, for her safety please listen to what I'm saying." Cas's eyes bored into Dean's, but Dean did not falter, I felt his calloused fingers tighten around my flesh as Goosebumps appeared and flecked my skin ever so lightly.

"Caroline is safest with me, separating us would be pointless."

"Dean open your eyes, you need to pursue these contacts, and this prophesy is much larger than you or Caroline, she must fulfill her destiny and take responsibility for it."

"Hey, I'm right here." I cut in annoyed, as they discussed me like I was some child caught in the middle of a custody battle.

"I'm sorry Caroline I thought you understood our circumstances and agreed to this arrangement already." Cas stated bluntly, and I felt Dean's hand jump from my leg like I had suddenly taken on the temperature of hot coals.

"You agreed to this." He stated hardly as he swung my body to his, so my eyes could only find his and nothing else.

"Dean, this is the best option right now, it's what's best." Did I believe that….I don't know, but I knew I needed space from Dean to get my head on right, to get my bearings back, he made me all kinds of confused and crazy, the way I felt about him was intense, I couldn't hide that.

"You're just running away like you always do, fine give me the contact information I'll head out in a few hours, I'll have my phone so keep me posted." He shut me out as quickly as he let me in, all the walls were up and I was on the outside of them, no longer within them holding what he hide within them so tightly. He was composed and calm with just a glint of fire in his piercing green eyes to hint at what had just occurred.

"Dean,I.." He did not even look at me, he simply snatched the paper Castiel held out to him with the information and stalked off, back to his room I assumed, and my eyes met Sam's.

"Caroline." He stated knowingly, crossing his arms.

"What?" I stated hardly.

"Fix this now. We all need to be completely focused on the tasks at hand, this emotional crap needs to be handled it will only distract people, make them impulsive, and get them killed." His tone hardened on the last part.

"Fine." I bit back angrily, pushing myself loudly up from the table, stomping off after Dean, something I had become accustomed to.

…..

"Dean Winchester." I stated, ready for a battle, as I flung his door open to find him bent over his bed, damp from a shower, with a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, his hair spiked up messily, as he stared at the contents of his duffel bag.

"What the hell is your issue." I barked, I was sick of his shit, yeah I was hot and cold, but he was just abrasive and mean at times, I wasn't standing for it, and as much as he made me want to throw things and pitch a fight, I did not like being on the outside of his walls, maybe I did not want him inside mine, but I wanted back within his.

"What is my issue, wow that's rich Fido coming from you." He stated flatly, not even bothering to turn around, what the hell this what not the Dean I knew, I wanted him to fight me, to challenge me, to spark the electricity, to do anything really, not just stand there.

"Look at me." I demanded hardly.

"Why so you can lie to me, deceive me, trick me." He stated still no emotion; still not facing me and I grew angrier by the second.

"Turn around." I demanded my voice rising.

"I'm busy Caroline." He wasn't even fighting me, no defiance, no challenge, I was pissed, and with not a thought I found myself stalking up to him, grabbing his torso and spinning him towards me, his eyes were haunted.

"Stop it Caroline." He stated bluntly, trying to avoid my stare. And the events that ensued next I cannot offer a reason or explanation for, I can only offer them up. I suddenly pressed my forehead against his, though he reluctantly tried to squirm from me, but I held him in place as my fingertips grazed his damp hair and scalp making languid circles.

"You want me to stop." I whispered hoarsely, he did not reply. I softly removed my forehead from his and littered the edges of his ears with soft ever so light kisses, just dustings really. Then I softly bit into the flesh of his ear lobe, I felt him shake ever so slightly clearly trying to constrain his movements, and I moved my lips to his inner ear and whispered into it breathily.

"What about now? Should I stop?" He still gave no reply, so I simply and easily ghosted my lips down, right to where I could feel his pulse vibrate within his neck. I ghosted kisses on that same spot over and over as I felt his body quake, and then I proceeded to mark him to his surprise, as he moaned in response to my sudden and deliberate biting and sucking of that particular spot. Finally his body leaned forward into mine and he wrapped his strong arms around my tiny body.

"Dean." I whispered. "I'm right here".

"Caroline, you're killing me." His voice was raspy and thick with desire.

"That wasn't exactly the response I was going for." I whispered impishly as I ran my hands up and down his bare back.

"I want you." He stated intensely pressing me up against him.

"You have me."

"I want you underneath me." He stated bluntly.

"You are a pervert." I replied, laughing.

"Are you serious, you just spent the last ten minutes teasing me while I'm basically naked, what would you expect me to want."

"Oh you know the usual ever lasting commitment, marriage, babies…just the works sweetheart." I stated sarcastically staring up into his eyes innocently.

"Shut up." He stated and without another word he gripped the back of my neck and hotly kissed me forcing his tongue into my mouth immediately, pushing all my nerves into hyper drive. God, what was I doing, what was wrong with me, I just could not seem to form or process proper sentences or thoughts, I was a total wreck, I was blank. All I could see, feel, hear, and breathe was him, I was an utter and complete mess. I had done myself in now, I was screwed. My anxiety, my fear, just froze my entire body up, and all of sudden I could not respond or move I just stood there like concrete, and boy did Dean notice.

"What now." He stated gruffly as he gripped my forearm tightly and pulled his face away from mine slightly so he could stare into my eyes, as he breathed heavily.

"I don't know." I replied embarrassedly, looking at me feet uncomfortably.

"Why do you have to make it complicated, what are you hiding from me."

"Everything." I replied without a thought stepping out of his embrace, and backing away swiftly.

"How do you pull these insane 180's, its like sixty to zero in a minute." He stated challenging me to explain myself, but I couldn't, he couldn't know the type of person I really was, I couldn't even live with her, I was just stuck with her.

"I should go, let you get ready, I need to call my sister." I rambled off aimlessly as I backed out of the room slowly with a small sliver of me hoping he would stop me.

"One day Caroline, you'll run so far you won't even know the way back." He quipped sadly as he turned around and turned his attention back to the contents of his duffel bag.

"Goodbye Dean." I whispered, knowing full well this was the last moment I would ever spend with him, after this angel business was done, I would be gone and without a trace this time.

"If you say so, Fido."

"I do." And with that I turned on my heel and softly padded away from the one thing I wanted to hold onto for the first time in years.


	9. Chapter 9- Dream On

4 Months Later. July

"Mom! Where are you going now? Please let me come you know I can help!" I cried exasperatedly as my mom hauled her cache of weapons, as she liked to call it, out to her pick-up truck.

"Caroline, sweetheart, we have gone over this. Contrary to your belief you are my entire life, and I do not want anything to happen to you, which is why it's best if you remain here and conduct research. I'll keep in contact and be back before the week's end, love." She stared at me sternly, but lovingly with her warm brown eyes and full pale pink lips. Her complexion was tan probably from all the time she had been spending across the globe looking for information. And as much as we buttheads lately I could not deny that she had always been my anchor, my safe harbor, my home and I loved her.

"Mom I just want to help and if you gave me the chance I could prove to you I'm capable of being an asset." I replied placing my hands on my hips, still trying to make a case for myself.

"Caroline you are helping. I need someone back here to run things and research whatever information I come across, and you are one smart cookie. I trust you to do this, Law school shaped that noggin' well. Plus I get the peace of mind that you are safe in a remote location that is completely warded to all elements of the supernatural." She threw back easily with an impish grin.

"You're lucky I love you and respect you. If I didn't, I would stow my ass in the trunk of that car without you knowing and you would never hear the end of me on this." I retorted seriously, but with a hint of humor. Most people would not receive my respect or obedience, but she was my mother and for most of my life my closest friend. And part of me still looked up at her with those same awe-filled eyes from when I was five and I just could not openly defy her, she was my Achilles heel.

"Alright then Darling, it's settled. You know the rules no booze, no boys, no noise." She retorted letting loose a full toothy grin full of warmth as she glided towards me in her worn jeans and flannel to place her usual kiss on the crown of my head.

"Really, mom? It's not funny anymore."

"Well, I'm slightly serious about the boys bit. You have been moping around this place since that nice man Cas flew you in, and it's the look of a broken heart. And do not even try to argue with me on this a mother knows when her baby is carrying around a sore one. So I suggest you get that issue bandaged up while I'm gone and go on a nice little man hiatus, ok sugar?"

"Ma you are ridiculous I'm fine ok, stop spewing gibberish."

"You hide it all you want love, but your eyes say it all." With that, she patted me on the cheek lovingly and brushed my hair out of my face."

"Ma, really I'm fine please just be safe ok, I love you."

"Whatever you say, darling. I love you more be back soon, make sure you call all four phones if you need me. You have all the numbers right, baby?"

"Yes, Ma I got it down pat it is not my first rodeo." She chuckled easily at me and gave me one last squeeze before her tiny body jumped up into her ridiculously large truck, which was quite comical due to the size difference. I waved at her one last time before lazily walking up the steps of the front porch and back into the safe house that had been my home for the past few months. Cas' plan went off without a hitch in regards to the bounty at least. We were able to get to Crowley he, of course, was not convinced that Sam and I were together, nothing gets passed the King of Hell I guess, but he did shed some light on a few topics, and a deal was of course struck. Apparently the bounty on my head was due to a rumor that had started up among the ranks of Hell. Many had begun to assume that I was the counterpart to Griffith, that I would be what could counter his rumored power and thus be the key to the darker side of this prophesized revolution of sorts. So clearly people thought they could harness my power and control me for their gains, pretty typical shit for demons and the King of Hell, always trying to use someone else to garner power. Honestly, I cold give a rat's ass about this supposed power what was of value to me was that the angel Cas brought me to confirmed Griffith was still alive and that his life force was somewhere out there. Crowley, though he cannot be trusted, also claimed he had encountered him in passing in one of his trips to clean house on some angel operation. And so it was enough, enough to give me something to hold onto and continue to seek out clues and information about Griffith's whereabouts and his inevitable transformation.

Cas' angel friend beyond the information on Griffith could not tell us much. Apparently there was some ward on me that prevented any other angel and demon from taking hold of whatever code or enchantment etched within me in an attempt to understand its full weight. Thus, his examination of me was a total freaking bust. In regards to escaping Crowley's grasp a simple deal was struck, well simple for Crowley I guess. I had to pledge, as well as sign a pretty little contract swearing that I would not throw allegiance to the angels or march with them. And, hey easy enough for me I hated every last one of those scum except for Cas he was a hell of an exception and he had disassociated from those crazies at this point anyhow. So for me, the deal was all well and good for now, maybe time would display that I had acted in error, but what did it matter.

One last deal was struck, but this one was between Castiel and I. Cas after hours of argument agreed to wipe Dean and Sam's memory clean of every encounter they ever had with me if I agreed to reunite with my mother and work with her to find Griffith. He claimed he had become quite fond of me and felt if I were to separate from Dean and Sam as he sensed I would this would be the safest way for me to do so. As much as I wanted independence, I wanted to be free of this entanglement with the Winchester boys more and at the end of the day my mother was a wonderful woman she was just slightly detached in the years since Griffith disappeared, but who could blame her. So for me, it was not such a bad deal, and I took it, I was finally gone from the boys without a trace. The only memory Dean and Sam had of me was through a photograph my mom showed them once several years prior and beyond that they had no knowledge of who I was and the time we spent together. My mother was aware of this arrangement, and I think she assumed that the heartbreak lied with one of those boys, but it was not really heartbreak. It was acceptance, acceptance of who I was and who I never would or could be. If Dean knew me, the real me he would cringe, things were better this way. Life before the Winchesters was much less complicated and I was settling back into it nicely.

As I curled myself onto the worn sofa in front of the TV with my afternoon coffee the newest and perhaps most important addition to my life hopped up to join me. Nala was still all paws and big floppy ears. She was only about five months old but was smart as a whip with huge gold eyes and beautiful chocolate brown fur ticked with speckles. I had picked up Nala on a drive with my mom through Rhode Island after we had finished taking care of a nasty Wendigo. Nala came from the same breeder we bought our family German Short-Haired Pointer from and she was the absolute sweetest. Mom let me get her for company, for when she went away or whatever, but I knew she wanted a four-legged friend around the house as much as I did. We both spoiled Nala rotten, but she was a total sweetheart and a fast learner, so we deemed it acceptable.

"Hi, there baby-girl!" I cooed at her lovingly as I scratched her fur and listened to her little tail beat against the sofa. Her demeanor changed though quite suddenly, her ears perked up, and she drew back from me staring at the ceiling and of course right on time there was Castiel, no warning, no call, no appointment.

"Thanks for the call Cas." I retorted pointedly not even bothering to move from my spot.

"Caroline I do not have time for this."

"Well excuse me mister big shot. You are the one falling into my living room unannounced and startling my poor pup. We talked about this you cant just do that what if I was changing or something, I am a girl you know."

"Nudity means very little to me Caroline barely phases me. When I was human, it was quite different, but now it is of no consequent so don't trouble yourself with that you will not upset me."

"Cas I don't give a crap if it would upset you, it would bother me." I shot back emphasizing the me.

"Oh well, I do apologize. Next time I'll try to announce myself give you some warning I guess. But look we have a small situation."

"What do you mean a small situation?" I inquired nervously. Why did he always have to speak in riddles and it always took a century for him to convey plainly what he meant.

"Dean's been dreaming of you, Sam as well, but Dean's are more involved so to speak." Before I even processed a word or a thing, the coffee mug slipped from my hand and shattered on the floor. The shock filled my body, and all I wanted to do was run.

"Caroline I'm sorry I should not have sprung that on you like that. I should have prepared you here I'll clean that up." I could feel my whole body tense and shake as Cas cleaned up the mess my shock and fear had created.

"What do you mean he's dreaming of me?" I shakily inquired as I went to follow Cas into the kitchen.

"Caroline, no please sit back down I will be right back, and I will answer any and all of your questions." I was not having it though, and I continued behind him, my legs felt like a substance between gelatin and rock, heavy yet light, weighted yet shaky. Once within the confines of my small kitchen, I found myself leaning against the island in the center of the room for support and stability. After disposing of the broken pieces of the mugs Ca sighed and turned toward me leaning his back against the kitchen cabinets with a pained look on his face.

"At first, it was just your face and fleeting images of you, but it has evolved so to speak. Sam still only sees your face, but Dean he's dreaming memories. I'm afraid it will only get worse. I'm not sure why he was able to recall these memories or why these memories were able to regain footing in his consciousness, but they have and their growing stronger, and he is growing more suspicious especially since Sam is dreaming of you too. They are suspecting someone wiped their memories, they keep calling on me, I'm positive they want to question me, but I have been avoiding them so I could speak with you first."

"Cas what the actual hell! You swore this would work, that it was foolproof, we had a deal!" I roared my hands tightening into fists.

"Caroline, this has never occurred before it is foolproof. I have to know, how deep was your bond with Dean. I thought perhaps a crush or an infatuation, but if these memories are this powerful the bond must have held much more weight." How could I answer that I had no answer for that nor did I want to try to provide one, it was too painful.

"Castiel I cant, you know I cant." I croaked out weakly.

"Look I have an idea. Well, it is more of quick fix it won't be permanent, but it can buy you sometime." Castiel cocked his head to the side clearly waiting for me to push him to continue and deliver this idea.

"At this point, I'm willing to try anything."

"Well then good. I am assuming what you want to be buried is your relation to Dean as well as the personal details you've shared with him and Sam. That, for now, is possible if I restore their memories up until Faith appeared. I'll say for protection once the demon-bounty was known of, I made the executive decision to wipe everyone's memories of you and transport you to a safe house. When they ask why their memories of the time of the demon-bounty and what not are still no present I'll bore them with the complications that can come with memory restoration and how some pieces remain lost. It should quiet them for a time and quell their interest, but I'm not sure if it will prevent the restoration of all their memories indefinitely. Plus Sam loves to poke around, you intellectuals are all the same that could be an issue later on."

"What are the risks?"

"Like anything else there are some considerable risks. If I keep fishing around in their minds and touching things I'm not supposed to it could permanently damage their ability to form, save, and store memories."

"How likely is that?"

"Not very, but there is also a chance if a restore them partially I weaken the block, unhinge it in some respect, and all of them renter their consciousness without warning." I buried my face in my hands, conflicted and confused.

"And what happens if you do nothing? Just leave things be."

"Dean will remember everything in time. I don't know when, but he will. And I can't predict his reaction entirely. I can keep you hidden from him, but he is well he is persistent."

"What do I do Cas?" I inquired desperate for guidance. All options led to destruction, and none were a guarantee, the risks were high.

"I don't have that answer, Caroline, I'm sorry."

"Can I take a few days to go over it."

"Don't take too long Dean is already realizing you aren't just something his mind conjured up. He remembers the photo your mom showed him a few years back."

"Shit are you serious? I have dark hair there how could he even piece that together?"

"Your eyes, they are a pretty strong identifier plus gold is a unique color. I'm sorry genetics can be troublesome."

"Great so case of fight or flight."

"Caroline I would not necessarily say this parallels Darwin's Theory entirely."

"Stop Cas, stop there do not go any further, it is just an expression, not a scientific expression. That is not helping at the moment."

"I do apologize. Caroline, I must be going, so do we have a decision." And without a thought, I took flight like always.

"Restore it up to Faith." I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, just Cas please be gentle I am rather fond of his mind." I admitted sadly, and Cas shot me a sort of sympathetic look. He simply nodded at me and then he was gone, just as Dean always described his coming and goings.

*Ring, Ring, Ring*

I shot up out of bed and scrambled around searching for my incessantly loud phone. If it was my mom, I needed to get to it quick and without even bothering to check the number like I always do I flipped it open.

"Mom. What do you need, is everything ok?" I rambled on, my voice heavy with sleepy, one hand cradling the phone the other trying to tie up my messy hair into a bun.

"Fido? It's me. Do not hang up." No, god damn why didn't I check the caller ID, when did Cas jump his memories or did he not yet, what did he know.

"Caroline I can hear your loud breathing, I know you're still on the line." Typical what an asshole, fine then he could just listen to me breathe.

"Where are you? Do not make me trace this call, you know I will." Screw him what an egotistical bastard. Who does he think he is, and how much does he know? Uh, how is it possible that after all this time he still can just enrage me without a moments notice. No, I will not engage in this.

"Caroline you hang up I show up, chose carefully." Shit. He probably would to I should have hung up immediately he was probably already traced the damn call knew the location. My mom told me to stop answering calls with my personal number; it could be traced; I screwed up. I was only supposed to use the burner phones, shit. Maybe part of me knew it would be him and wanted to pick up, damn that was all kinds of screwed up.

"What do you want?" I spoke hardly.

"Wow just as cold as ever, nice to hear from you too." Hm, maybe Cas had restored it already.

"So?" I drawled out trying to escape this awful decision of mine.

"Did Cas wipe your noggin' too?" Relief filled my entire body, my secrets were safe, things could stay somewhat normal, or my version of normal, and Dean's mind the one that did make me tingly was perfectly intact, at least for now.

"Nope."

"Well, aren't you lucky. So you were fine with us just forgetting we ever spent that lovely vacation together?"

"Shut up, Van Helsing. I told you I work alone."

"Suit yourself Fido, but man that's pretty harsh. Sammy and I were hurt."

"Yeah well cry me a freaking river, do not care."

"Well, I'm glad you're safe then thanks for the mutual concern sweetheart, you have a nice evening."

"Goodbye, Dean. Don't ever call here again."

"No can do darling. Goodnight."

"Goodbye, Dean." I cried exasperatedly while I angrily hit the end call button. How, how was he always so unaffected, so sarcastic yet my whole body was like a live freaking wire. I fell back against my pillow with a thump and knew sleep would not find me now; that van was just waiting to drive across my mind when my eyes closed and Dean he was waiting there too, waiting to find out what the van really meant.


End file.
